Counting My Blessings

Being that it is only day four of my official bed resting, I am trying really hard not to focus on the negative of the situation. But I am human, so I still definitely have my small moments of sadness / frustration. But so far, it really doesn't last long. I did whatever it would take to get to you, and now I am more than willing to do whatever it takes to keep you two healthy. There are too many wonderful things in my life to linger on the negative. So, here are just a few small moments I am thankful for from yesterday:

Blessing #1

My family was in church when Keal and I headed to the hospital. We both told them, no need to come. Once we got there, we got more texts asking if we needed them and again, we reassured them no need to make the drive all the way out there - just getting some shots and medication, but all was fine. Well, around 4:00 there was a knock on our hospital door. Sure enough, there was my entire family. I am so thankful for them and how helpful and supportive they have already been; willing to drop anything to help take care of us. 

Blessing #2

We finally got home from the hospital around 6. You two seemed to be snuggled in for the night after a busy afternoon and had finally calmed down. We had a quiet evening at home, and then around 8 my parents returned for some Sunday Night Football (we won't mention the game....oh our poor Steelers) and with dinner for us. Before the game, my dad offered a prayer for our family. For the first time since the hospital, the minute he started praying, you both started to kick. It was such a sweet moment. God is already working in your lives, which is just amazing to me!

Blessing #3

Before my dad prayed, my contractions were really acting up again, but I did not want to go to the hospital again. We were still an hour and a half away from my next pill. Once the contractions start back up, they usually don't stop. From the moment he said amen to the moment I took my pill an hour and a half later, I didn't have one contraction!

Blessing #4

Sometimes there are no side effects with these pills, other times the side effects are terrible. You just never know which it will be. Well, my 3:30 dose was a terrible dose. I was shaking, heart was racing, head pounding and spinning. I could not calm myself down. Why is this a blessing? During my hour and a half tossing and turning, I was able to share some nice quiet moments with God. And while praying, I had my hands on my belly, feeling both of you move. For a moment, you were both kicking at the same time for three kicks in a row. Even when you aren't both kicking at the same time, I can tell you two apart, but I just adore when you kick at the same exact time. It's just so cool.

So, even though yesterday was a little stressful and most of our day was spent in the hospital, there is always something to be thankful for; there are always blessings that need to be counted. 

22 Weeks

I love Sundays. My favorite day of the week. I look forward to reading what you two are doing and how you're growing each week. I then get to head to church, which is usually followed by fabulous family time.

Unfortunately, today was not one of those Sundays. I woke up to some stress....12 contractions within 45 minutes. My pills work great for the first 2 hours and then do absolutely nothing for the next two hours. I immediately called the doctor. I was reassured by the seriousness in which she was taking this situation, yet the encouragement she gave us as well. "First of all, let's not panic over contractions. The majority of women who have contractions like this make it to full term. In fact, some of them even then need inducing! So, this doesn't mean you're going into labor. That being said, 12 is a very high number in under an hour. And with you having twins we don't want to take anything lightly. We are going to be as aggressive as we can with these. Let's up your pills to every three hours, that's as high as we can go, and if you have 5 in an hour, straight to labor and delivery."

This was at 9:15. I know by taking a pill, I could buy myself another hour, but that most likely we'd be heading to the hospital today. So, at 11:30, more than five contractions later, we were packed up and headed towards the hospital.

And what a lovely afternoon we had there. Crazy shots, an IV, and constant poking and prodding were in store for me for the next five or so hours. I was thankful to see you sweet boys again, wiggling around like crazy. I was thankful to hear your beautiful heartbeats again too. Now if only these doctors could get your momma under control!

caught sneaking his lunch during our visit

 

busted sleeping...hospital visits are exhausting

getting some love from my momma

Nothing really seems to be working for me. Pills and shots worked for a bit, but did not stop my contractions completely. So, if we have another 5 contractions in an hour, it's back to the hospital for more shots and possibly back to the drawing board. It seems like the second I even get into a sitting position, the contractions start back up. So, except for my stroll to the car to get to the hospital, I am flat on my back and trying my hardest to will these contractions to stop! I'm glad you two are still okay, I just wish my body would calm down a bit. I'm trying to stay focused on the positive in all this -- and that of course is you two. But it's tricky not to worry when all you do all day is lay in bed. I know you are our miracle babies and I know God has great things in store for you two. It wasn't easy to get to you and nothing went as planned, but God put you in our lives for a purpose. So, we will continue this crazy, beautiful journey to you, with prayerful hearts that you continue to grow strong and healthy.

The song I heard on the way to the hospital. Perfection.
From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
 
In a world I can't control
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there
 
From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan
 
One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit

 

A Small Bump pt 2

Well, today we headed in for our doctor appointment to take a look at how things were going and what we need to do to keep you boys safe.

Again, I got to take a peek at you two, and as always, you're both doing wonderfully and are healthy as can be! We even got a 4D look at you where we could see your skin and features!

After knowing you were both safe, they checked me out too. I was thankful that while they were taking different measurements, I had two more contractions. This allowed the doctor to see exactly how body is reacting during these contractions (that are still coming, even with this medication).

Turns out I look pretty healthy too (not quite as healthy as the last time, but nothing too worrisome yet). Unfortunately, when I'm having the contractions things don't look quite as healthy for you two. It seems as if gravity is my worst nightmare right now.

So, it is back to my ole' mattress in the living room for me. I am on strict bed rest (and your father is taking that "strict" part very seriously) until next Tuesday. On Tuesday, we will go back in for yet another appointment and more measurements. If things appear to be the same, I will probably stay on bed rest for an unknown amount of time. If things appear to have gotten better, they may put me on a "modified" bed rest (which still may require me to stay home from teaching).

picnic lunch in the living room

All I pray is that these contractions don't progress and turn into preterm labor. As long as you two stay tucked away and keep growing strong and healthy, I am happy. Bed rest is not the greatest news we could have received today, but we are happy to oblige to keep you both safe. You are our priorities right now, so we will do whatever it takes. I will just have to get some really great books and movies to keep my mind occupied!

A Small Bump pt 1

I should’ve known, when I woke up at 4 AM this morning in intense pain, that today was not going to be an ordinary day. But with pregnancy comes all kinds of fun pain and uncomfortability. So, I just filed it away as another pregnancy pain.

When I started moving today at 5:15, still in a lot of pain, I should’ve realized then, today was not going to be an ordinary day.

But, stubborn as can be, I tried to push through. I got ready for school (slowly) and headed out the door.

I was determined not to call the doctor. Stretching and carrying two boys; I’m gonna feel pain, right? What’s the sense in calling? My only worry was the pain was on the left side, right where you’ve been camping out Baby Miracle B and I hadn’t felt you move much this morning (although your brother was going crazy). Once I felt you kick a couple times, I felt reassured that everything was fine.

By 8 o’clock my thinking had changed and I was on the phone with my doctor. The pain was just intensifying and I still had the whole day ahead of me. After talking to a nurse, she let me know she’d check in with my doctor and get back to me.

Finally, at 11:00 I heard back with my doctor’s strong recommendation to sit, put up my feet, and drink plenty of fluids. I told her I would oblige, however I am a teacher and that it could be difficult to get a sub this late in the day. I asked if it was necessary for me to go home, or could I just take it easy at school. Again, she had to check in with the doctor first and would call me right back.

3o minutes later, I was at my computer typing up emergency sub plans and heading out for the day. A one day bed rest was absolutely necessary and if it didn’t give me any relief in a few hours, into the office I was to go.

Well, by 2:20 I felt much better, but my stomach was really tightening with what I thought were Braxton hicks contractions. So, onto yet another phone call! Sure enough, the nurse thought I was having actual contractions and needed to start tracking them. She said if one more or if more consistent, I needed to come in immediately. She reassured me that contractions like this are normal, but since we are having twins, she wanted to play it safe.

So, at 3:00 when I had another contraction, I called back and spoke with a third nurse. Oh no, it’s perfectly normal to have contractions. As long as they aren’t painful and are sporadic you will be fine. She just encouraged me to call back if I had 5 within the hour. At 3:27 (an hour and seven minutes), I had my 5^th contraction and called back. Again, I was told no need to worry. At 3:53, I had my 5^th contraction in 53 minutes and made yet another phone call!

“Okay Courtney, we need you to come on in to labor and delivery.” Let me just say, even though I knew they were just being precautious, those are words you never want to hear at 21 weeks pregnant. While I can’t wait to meet you sweet boys, you are not ready to make an arrival yet!

So, with tears in my eyes, I frantically gathered myself together and headed out towards the hospital. Thank God for an incredible family! Aunt Aubrey had been by my side all afternoon, guiding me to make each new phone call and continually checking in with my doctor to keep you boys safe. Around 3:30 my parents had arrived too and were there when we got the word to head out.

I was grateful to have them drive me down to the hospital so that I didn’t have to make the drive alone. While on our way, I finally got the chance to talk to your daddy (who had been texting and talking to Aunt Aubrey while I had been working things out with the doctor). The second I heard his voice, I began to cry, feeling so comforted to be talking to him and knowing he was on his way too. His first words were, “So, you’re such a planner that you needed a 10 – 15 week early test run, huh? Okay. That’s fine. Are you timing this too, figuring out how long it’ll take us to get to the hospital when we do this for real in a few months?” Through my nervous tears, I finally let out a chuckle. I so appreciated his sense of humor in a moment of concern. And it wasn’t insensitive humor. You could hear the worry and concern in his voice. It was a, let me try to make this better for you sense of humor, and I absolutely loved it!

Once we arrived to the hospital, we were quickly taken back to a room and settled in. As in the past, I got to sport my fancy gown and enjoyed being strapped to a thousand different monitors: two for each of your heart rates (which was pretty tricky to find), one to monitor contractions, and a blood pressure monitor as well. I was beyond thrilled to hear both of your heartbeats and see you on the ultrasound, wiggling around!

gadgets galore!

Sure enough, I had a contraction not long after arriving and both the nurse and computer quickly identified it as a true contraction. Just a few minutes later my regular doctor came in (she happened to be on call tonight -- a small blessing in the middle of this scare!) to examine me. Again, I happened to have another contraction and she too confirmed it as such. She also confirmed that I wasn't dilating, so she was comfortable in believing I wasn't actually going into labor, but just having irregular contractions.

Even still, she put me on a prescription to slow them down and wanted me to stay (possibly through the night) to monitor my contractions. After two hours, they decided that while the contractions hadn't stopped completely, they had slowed and lessened. So, we got the okay to head home and would be returning in the morning for further testing to determine if bed rest is in my future or not.

I am so thankful that tonight went okay. I am most thankful to have heard both of your heartbeats and see your sweet bodies kicking and moving around. I am thankful that you are both still healthy. I am thankful for my family who dropped everything to help take care of me (and you all) today. I pray tomorrow we come up with a game plan to help keep me healthier, so that I can keep you both healthy!

Hospital company: Daddy, Zsu Zsu, and Paka

21 Weeks

Busy Bees

What an incredibly productive, incredibly exhausting week and weekend we have had!

At the start of the week, we made a pretty crazy list of what needed to be done each day, in hopes that at least half of it would get accomplished. I am proud to say, every one of our items was checked off and on time!

This week we:

1. Took out the window seat in the nursery, so we could rebuild ourselves
2. Patched up the hole in the wall in the nursery from a cable-installation gone bad
3. Patched up the marks in the walls downstairs
4. Finished all the painting touch-ups downstairs
5. Painted the downstairs bathroom
6. Got the first coat of paint finished in the nursery
7. Bought the crown molding for the nursery and painted it
8. Registered
9. And ordered your furniture and mattress!!

(but don't let his acting skills fool you -- he was really very much involved / opinionated in the entire registry!)

Yikes, I need another nap just thinking about this week.Not to mention the crazy weeks we both had at work this week too. But, I am so excited looking back at this list! The things we need to do to prepare for you is luckily getting shorter as you are getting closer to being here.

I think you could sense the excitement of this week / weekend too. Today, you both moved (I love when I can feel you both moving at the same time!) more than you ever have during the day. In fact, both your Zsu Zsu and Auntie Aubs got to feel you wiggling around! They're faces were priceless as they both each felt the first kick. You are already so loved little boys by a family that can't wait to meet you!

Daddy & Sons Bonding

You all can now do much more than before - you can hear, you respond more, & we can feel you moving around on the outside of my belly!

With these changes have come new routines for you two. Some of my favorites are singing and reading to you. But my all time favorite is our new, nightly routine. Now that your daddy can feel you squirming around, he is trying to enjoy some bonding time with his boys too. Every night (since you seem to be most active when your momma's ready for bed), your daddy patiently waits for your kicks and movements. It's a perfect way to end my day - with my three favorite boys, all together!