Yesterday, we faced a pretty big scare...one that shook me unlike any we had faced up to this point. Even once we knew all was okay and "normal," I just couldn't shake my uneasiness. I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep you safe. To think it could've all been taken away so quickly and suddenly yesterday was just terrifying.
I'm thankful for my family's visit yesterday. They forced me out of my funk, made me take my weekly picture, and did all they could to keep my mind occupied. As always, before leaving, Paka offered a prayer for our sweet family. I felt myself relax and feel comforted with his prayer. I offered my own silent prayer that this peace would continue through today.
I am so thankful that the Lord heard our prayers. I tend to get really anxious at night. By the evening, I am the most sore from the day's "activity." You would think I would notice this pattern, but every night it makes me nervous. Last night was the most peaceful I have ever felt before going to sleep. And even better, I woke up in that same peace.
Today I saw three doctors, all were very positive and optimistic. From there, my day just got better. I spent the day with Zsu Zsu and we kept super busy today! We chatted, watched some movies, showered, knitted, and even took a spin around the third floor! That afternoon Aunt Aubrey joined us for "Massage Monday," and gave my hands and feet a fabulous massage (oil and all! she's the best!).
feelin' good!
third floor stroll, here I come!
thanks Zsu Zsu! new hobby!
massage monday!
Later in the evening we enjoyed a visit from Grandpa Curran, Paka, and some of our close church family. It was such a turn around from yesterday's roller coaster ride. I thank God for His peace. I thank God for my family and how selfless they have been through this all. I thank God for another day you stayed put and stayed healthy. And I thank God that today was "a new day!"
It's a new day
Oh, it's a new time
And there's a new way
I'm gonna live my life
All the old has, passed away
And the new has come
Thank God, It's a brand new day
Friday Dr. Weeks had given us another positive report, pleased that my body was not fighting the surgery and was still infection free. He also said his goodbyes, letting us know he would not be back for at least six days, but his partner would check in daily.
Saturday morning brought on our goofy nurse, who stressed me out completely. As I lay in the hospital bed, I was praying and trying to find comfort in our situation. At that moment there was a knock on the door and a familiar face came in...Dr. Weeks! "Well, I had a little more paperwork to follow up on and a few patients I wanted to check up on." I was so comforted to see him since he knows the intricate details of our difficult stimulation.
So, I shared my concerns with him. He was so positive and pleased with the progress we had made! I count Dr. Weeks' surprise visit a complete act of God. Here I had been praying for comfort and reassurance and in walks the doctor who can be painfully honest...and yet he was so positive! I instantly felt peace and thanked God for this small blessing.
And then, things got even better. Dr. Weeks was so pleased with our stable condition, he decided we didn't need to wait until Monday to move upstairs, he was ready to send us to a more permanent room Saturday. So, not long after, we were headed to the third floor where we would not need the constant hourly monitoring.
We packed up the room, I "hopped" in my wheelchair, and we headed to my new room. I have accomplished and overcame a lot of fears in just one week, but this may have been one of my proudest moments. For the first time in over twelve years, I rode an elevator. And not only did I ride an elevator, I rode an elevator without having a panic attack!! You, my boys, have given me more strength than I ever thought possible. I love you more than I could imagine even possible and believe me, I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe and healthy.
Last night was a difficult night for me. Thursday and Friday had been such
positive days, yet by Friday evening I was feeling discouraged. I was having
several contractions which were making me nervous and just overall
uncomfortable.
I kept reminding myself that I had just had a very difficult surgery done,
as well as have now been on bed rest for a week. Moving around (even if just to
the bathroom) was bound to make me sore and tired. Nonetheless, it caused some
anxiety and nervousness in me last night. I told myself to just get a good
night's sleep and in the morning, I wouldn't be as sore.
I woke up somewhat disappointed to find I was still uncomfortable and still
contracting. "This is normal," I reminded myself. "Dr. Weeks
told you to expect constant contractions from now until I deliver." Still,
I felt uneasy.
So, I decided to share my concerns with my nurse. I mentioned the pain, as
well as a few other side effects I was still experiencing from the surgery.
"Should I be nervous?" I asked, looking for some reassurance.
"Your whole situation is very difficult. I would be nervous about
everything. Your cervix was in a very delicate, difficult situation to deal
with. So yes, you have several more weeks to get through before I wouldn't feel
nervous anymore."
Sheesh. So much for a new, positive start to my day.
So, I texted Keal immediately, looking for reassurance from him, since the
nurse failed miserably.
After my initial text, I said, "I was feeling so anxious / stressed
last night, got a good night's sleep to clear my mind, and now I'm gonna have
that lingering all day. I'm trying to remind myself, Dr. Weeks was positive, so
I'm gonna be positive. Just have to really pray hard. Our boys are gonna be
just fine."
His response was perfection.
"Overcomer came on just as I was reading your text."
"That's so awesome!! They're gonna be our little overcomers for sure!!
I love you!"
"I love you. Drink water and relax today. Read a book, watch TV, keep
that busy mind a working!"
I am so grateful for his response and kind words. I am grateful for God
comforting us both this morning. I don't need a nurse to tell us we're going to
be okay. I know we are going to be okay, regardless of our statistics;
regardless of what science tells our doctors and nurses. We are going to hold
tight to our faith, knowing with 100% certainty that you boys will be just
perfect.
"One More Day" is the song your father keeps singing throughout the week! Each day is another victory. We do not take it lightly that we make it through another day without your arrival (yes, we want to meet you...just not yet, Little Ones!).
Today, I met with Dr. Weeks again. This is absolutely the most positive we have ever seen him and count the victory the Lord's! My white blood count is still low, so still no infection!! He hinted that if we've made it this far without fever / high white blood cells, most of the time, you will not have an infection. I was on cloud nine after hearing this! He also even mentioned that if I really behave myself, I may even be looking at a short stroll down the hallway (although I don't know if I even want to attempt that...I'm quite content to stay plopped in my hospital bed if it keeps you safe).
Today we are praising God for one more day and for more answered prayers! You are well and healthy, I am doing good today and much healthier too...today is a great day! We will continue praising God for you, our miracles until you are born and will continue praying to keep you safe!
We have been beyond blessed with an outpouring of prayers, texts, calls...you name it! We have been added to countless church prayer lists and have people praying for us that we don't even know. It is such a blessing sharing the love of Christ. We can feel the prayers working and know these prayers will carry you both safely through until you are ready to meet the world!
my family and rocks! been at my side each step of the way
Thursday brought us a lot of new, wonderful firsts since being admitted:
First time my feet touched the floor of room 16
First time I sat up (besides for pills or meals)
First time they disconnected me from the IV machine when meds aren't being administered (IV still in arm, ready for my 6 hour doses of antibiotic and iron)
First time I could take the blood pressure cuff off, as well as the heart monitors
First time I could shower (with a lot of sweet help from Zsu Zsu and Aunt Aubs)
First time I enjoyed eating again / first time eating 3 meals in one day
First time beginning my new Ensure regiment to help fatten me up / to help you grow stronger!
First time receiving confident, positive news from our doctors
yum!
pre and post shower! feelin' sassy again!
Aunt Aubs capturing everything...including my first, independently eaten meal (don't I look happy with all these pics!)
Thursday was a great day. We just pray it continues that way and that we all continue to stay healthy!
Oh my. Where to even begin with these last four days?
You my sweet boys are such strong, healthy fighters. Keep it up.
Tuesday, I felt like such a failure to you. I felt like I had failed you as your mother and was not doing my job to protect you. And now, here we are on Thursday, in higher spirits. So, let's back up...
Monday was my first day of bed rest without your dad by my side. All I wanted was to make it to Tuesday's appointment. Zsu Zsu came and spent the day with me, catering to my every need, cleaning the house and doing our laundry (have I mentioned how fabulous she is?!). At this point, my contractions seemed to be slowing and meds doing their job. That was until 12:30...when I had more than 5 in an hour - the typical pattern.
So, I called the doctor. Since this seemed to be my typical pattern, they decided to up me to six or seven contractions in an hour. Sure enough, three hours later we were back on the phone with the doctor. Again, we were being sent to labor and delivery. Zsu Zsu, your dad and I filed back into the car for the now too familiar drive in.
That evening, we were sent to a new room, hooked up to the fluid IVs, taking my regular pills and in addition, a new pill too. We heard your heartbeats, and as always, all looked good. I was reassured to finally meet with a doctor too....until she gave us her opinion. "Well, you have us all baffled, Courtney. Procardia isn't working, the shots didn't work, all that's really left is magnesium...and typically we don't give that until you are much further along in your pregnancy." Fabulous. "So, we're gonna keep you here definitely for tonight, probably longer. Tomorrow we are going to have you meet with one of our high risk doctors. Hopefully, he will have an idea of what to do. But since you're gonna be here awhile, let's move you to a bigger room. That way you and your hubby are more comfortable and visitors can fit in the room too." So, off we went for our first overnight stay in the hospital. Vontrese, our first nurse of this stay was just fabulous. She was attentive, took good care of us, and made us feel comfortable. We were sad to say goodbye to her that evening.
Please note "How can we provide you with excellent care?"
"And Dad" would be your father's handwriting
my rock. my best friend. first night, holdings hands under our blankets and across the bed and chair
I wish someone could have prepared me for what was waiting for us on Tuesday...
Tuesday, we woke up to Nurse Terri - an absolute angel! She let us know we would be meeting with Dr. Weeks - the same doctor who she went to school with, as well as delivered two (high risk) of her three pregnancies. After chatting with her, your daddy and I said goodbye to my parents and headed out with Terri to meet Dr. Weeks for our ultrasound.
There we got another peek at you - both perfect and healthy. Then he took a look at your momma. What should have been measuring 3 (at the smallest) to 5 cm, was now 1 cm. You could tell, he was instantly concerned.
Dr. Weeks then had to give us all the grim possibilities that we were facing. We could either buy a couple days with meds, and then deliver in the next week or so, or we could try a surgery that could potentially buy us a few more weeks - or even get us to full term. He did warn us that the surgery wasn't guarenteed to work, especially if the contractions were what caused the shortening. Dr. Weeks also had to give us the difficult news that if we delivered now or in the next few weeks, you most likely wouldn't survive - and if you did, it probably wouldn't be much of a life worth living.
Let me tell you something Sweet Miracles, that is not what God has in store for you! You have two incredible lives that need living for His glory.
But, no parent wants to receive this news. After Dr. Weeks left, Terri walked back in to find me tearing up. She quickly grabbed my hand to reassure me, "Crying is okay. Being angry is okay. But Dr. Weeks is a great doctor. We are going to make sure these boys are just fine." I thanked her and she gave us a few quiet moments to soak in the information in private.
After meeting with Dr. Weeks,
they started me on the magnesium drip (the drug they usually save for
women in the more later stages of pregnancy). The first thirty minutes
were going to be the most difficult because it was going to be a very
strong, intense dose. "Whatever it takes for my healthy boys," I kept
whispering as they started the drip. Almost instantly the heat waves,
dizziness, and overall exhaustion began. I watched the clock as it
slowly approached the 30 minute mark. I had survived. For the next 48 hours,
the magnesium would continue to drip and the symptoms increase (and boy
did they - but we'll get to that later!)
fun times on magnesium
A few hours later, we had to meet with a neonatal doctor. This was probably the worst moment of the day, followed by the most tender, sweetest, most personal moment of the day. He had to explain week by week, from 22-25 weeks, what to expect if you sweet boys were to be born now. I think I was hit by a truck when he said, "Now at 22 weeks there's a zero percentage survival rate without recitation and we don't recitate that young. So if you deliver this week, we would let you hold your boys for a few minutes, and then take them away." I'm sorry, but no parent can ever be prepared for news like that. Being able to just hold you is not an option. I have two boys to raise and parent, not just to hold your tiny, precious bodies at 22 weeks. From there, his grim report was not any better. The survival rate increased (barely) with each week, but the quality of life all the way through 25 weeks was not something to be excited about either. To me, it just isn't an option. You cannot be born that early. God has great things for you two.
When the doctor left, my mom quietly left the room, probably to gather herself, as well as to give me and your daddy some time too. We embraced across the hospital bed, holding each other, both quietly sobbing, and offering our own quiet prayers. It had been such a difficult conversation prior, yet such a fabulous moment we shared together. Your father is an amazing man, who I love dearly. He has been such a strong rock through this all. I am glad he is the head of our sweet family and a wonderful role model you will have to look up to.
The rest of the day was spent in a darkened, quiet room. Everyone seemed to need to process all of this heavy information in their own ways. Most of my day was spent in quiet crying, with one good outburst of pain and shouting. I know you boys will be just fine. I believe you will be born strong and healthy with all my heart. We fought and prayed too hard for you Sweet Miracles to lose you now. But, needless to say, hearing over and over again the risks of you being born early is still difficult.
After hearing bad news after bad news and seeing more than four different doctors, our day ended with one final visit from Dr. Weeks. It was during this meeting that we told him we wanted to try the surgery. While we still didn't know if this would fix our problem, we knew it was the best choice we had. There were definitely risks involved - including my water breaking during surgery, which would mean instantly delivering. But, we had God and we knew we wanted to do whatever was in our power to save your lives. We ended our evening, with everyone back home, but me and your daddy. Hand in hand, we fell asleep as he offered a prayer for our family.
I was glad to see Tuesday end. It had been an emotionally challenging day. However, I had not realized how difficult Wednesday was going to be either...
Unfortunately, your daddy had to leave around 7:00 in the morning to go to work, but Zsu Zsu and Paka were on their way. Wednesday morning started quickly and in a swirl. Surgery was going to be at 9:00 and paperwork galore needed to be filled out. At this point the magnesium was taking full effect on me and I could barely open my eyes, let alone sign papers, but somehow they got something of a signature.
Before my parents arrived, I got a quick phone call from your dad. "I'm in tears driving to work praying for you and the boys. While praying I heard the song 'Overcomer.' You need to listen to it. It's you! You are such an overcomer, you will be fine today. I'm so sorry I had to leave you." We said our goodbyes and I felt confident knowing God was whispering to all of us this morning, holding us tight to Him.
My parents arrived not long after and we offered a quick prayer. Terri, my nurse from the other day, also popped in and offered another prayer for our family. It was a moment I will never forget - my parents holding hands around my hospital bed, Terri's hands on my bed, and me holding you. I love the power of God and how quickly it can unite complete strangers.
From here, I was rolled out and headed to the OR. After a quick and painless spinal block, they were able to begin the surgery. Unfortunately, I was a much more difficult case than any he had seen in the past. A surgery that typically takes 15 minutes tops, took well past double that time. While I had a block for pain, the surgery was still pretty painful. My nurses kept whispering, "Pressure is normal. Pain is not okay. Tell us if you need more drugs." With my smaller frame and considering you two, they gave me a smaller dosage than usual. I could just tell that things weren't going as planned, so I did not want to interrupt the doctor. I could deal with the pain to allow him to keep working. Through the pain, I found this time to be such a special time between me and God. I prayed throughout the entire surgery: for your immediate safety, for my pain and safety during the surgery, and then for you long-term and your lives. It was a great way to keep my mind occupied on something positive and not the procedure.
After the surgery, the day got a little more difficult. I was really feeling the effects of the magnesium, and once the spinal block wore off, I was feeling the effects of the surgery. Needless to say, it was a challenging day physically. At one point, I could not even reach my hand out to pick up my drink. It was as if my brain was working, but my body was not responding to the signals. At 7:00, I received the best news of the day from Dr. Weeks....no more magnesium! Quite literally it took just minutes of stopping the IV and I felt human again....I could even enjoy feeding myself some ice cream!!
This morning I woke up to Terri, who again was not my nurse today, but was on the floor, standing in my doorway with a gift for me...
Yesterday, she had found out some of my favorites from my mom and brought me some goodies. Wow. We have been so blessed with wonderful nurses here! I was just blown away by her kindness and big heart. It's amazing the quick connection you can make when you share the same love for Christ.
Not long into the morning, my mom arrived at the perfect timing - I was about to get an ultrasound to see the immediate results of the surgery. Before that though, I received more good news! Sorry for the TMI....but catheter was allowed out, I could walk to bathroom now, I could sit up in bed, & I didn't even need a stretcher to the ultrasound - I got to ride sitting up in a wheelchair! It was a big, exciting morning. Now it was time for more good news, we prayed....
Zsu Zsu and I headed down with the nurse to the ultrasound where Dr. Weeks examined me. Today was the most positive day yet! If a shortened cervix was the initial problem, then it worked! He was able to turn 1 cm back into 3 cm with the surgery!! The water that was pushing into the cervix, ready to break, was successfully pushed back into the uterus.
So now, we pray, pray, pray, Sweet Miracles. It is crucial that I don't get any infections. So, every four hours they're taking my temperature and daily taking my blood. We are praying with all that we have that we make it to Monday infection free. We know God has control of this situation and are just waiting to shout his praises! God has already performed one great miracle in creating your all's lives. We know He can work this second miracle and bring you two into this world several weeks from now when you are strong, healthy, and ready to start your lives. I love you Sweet Miracles. I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe, just keep fighting and growing strong, my loves.
Being that it is only day four of my official bed resting, I am trying really hard not to focus on the negative of the situation. But I am human, so I still definitely have my small moments of sadness / frustration. But so far, it really doesn't last long. I did whatever it would take to get to you, and now I am more than willing to do whatever it takes to keep you two healthy. There are too many wonderful things in my life to linger on the negative. So, here are just a few small moments I am thankful for from yesterday:
Blessing #1
My family was in church when Keal and I headed to the hospital. We both told them, no need to come. Once we got there, we got more texts asking if we needed them and again, we reassured them no need to make the drive all the way out there - just getting some shots and medication, but all was fine. Well, around 4:00 there was a knock on our hospital door. Sure enough, there was my entire family. I am so thankful for them and how helpful and supportive they have already been; willing to drop anything to help take care of us.
Blessing #2
We finally got home from the hospital around 6. You two seemed to be snuggled in for the night after a busy afternoon and had finally calmed down. We had a quiet evening at home, and then around 8 my parents returned for some Sunday Night Football (we won't mention the game....oh our poor Steelers) and with dinner for us. Before the game, my dad offered a prayer for our family. For the first time since the hospital, the minute he started praying, you both started to kick. It was such a sweet moment. God is already working in your lives, which is just amazing to me!
Blessing #3
Before my dad prayed, my contractions were really acting up again, but I did not want to go to the hospital again. We were still an hour and a half away from my next pill. Once the contractions start back up, they usually don't stop. From the moment he said amen to the moment I took my pill an hour and a half later, I didn't have one contraction!
Blessing #4
Sometimes there are no side effects with these pills, other times the side effects are terrible. You just never know which it will be. Well, my 3:30 dose was a terrible dose. I was shaking, heart was racing, head pounding and spinning. I could not calm myself down. Why is this a blessing? During my hour and a half tossing and turning, I was able to share some nice quiet moments with God. And while praying, I had my hands on my belly, feeling both of you move. For a moment, you were both kicking at the same time for three kicks in a row. Even when you aren't both kicking at the same time, I can tell you two apart, but I just adore when you kick at the same exact time. It's just so cool.
So, even though yesterday was a little stressful and most of our day was spent in the hospital, there is always something to be thankful for; there are always blessings that need to be counted.
I love Sundays. My favorite day of the week. I look forward to reading what you two are doing and how you're growing each week. I then get to head to church, which is usually followed by fabulous family time.
Unfortunately, today was not one of those Sundays. I woke up to some stress....12 contractions within 45 minutes. My pills work great for the first 2 hours and then do absolutely nothing for the next two hours. I immediately called the doctor. I was reassured by the seriousness in which she was taking this situation, yet the encouragement she gave us as well. "First of all, let's not panic over contractions. The majority of women who have contractions like this make it to full term. In fact, some of them even then need inducing! So, this doesn't mean you're going into labor. That being said, 12 is a very high number in under an hour. And with you having twins we don't want to take anything lightly. We are going to be as aggressive as we can with these. Let's up your pills to every three hours, that's as high as we can go, and if you have 5 in an hour, straight to labor and delivery."
This was at 9:15. I know by taking a pill, I could buy myself another hour, but that most likely we'd be heading to the hospital today. So, at 11:30, more than five contractions later, we were packed up and headed towards the hospital.
And what a lovely afternoon we had there. Crazy shots, an IV, and constant poking and prodding were in store for me for the next five or so hours. I was thankful to see you sweet boys again, wiggling around like crazy. I was thankful to hear your beautiful heartbeats again too. Now if only these doctors could get your momma under control!
caught sneaking his lunch during our visit
busted sleeping...hospital visits are exhausting
getting some love from my momma
Nothing really seems to be working for me. Pills and shots worked for a bit, but did not stop my contractions completely. So, if we have another 5 contractions in an hour, it's back to the hospital for more shots and possibly back to the drawing board. It seems like the second I even get into a sitting position, the contractions start back up. So, except for my stroll to the car to get to the hospital, I am flat on my back and trying my hardest to will these contractions to stop! I'm glad you two are still okay, I just wish my body would calm down a bit. I'm trying to stay focused on the positive in all this -- and that of course is you two. But it's tricky not to worry when all you do all day is lay in bed. I know you are our miracle babies and I know God has great things in store for you two. It wasn't easy to get to you and nothing went as planned, but God put you in our lives for a purpose. So, we will continue this crazy, beautiful journey to you, with prayerful hearts that you continue to grow strong and healthy.
The song I heard on the way to the hospital. Perfection. From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit
Well, today we headed in for our doctor appointment to take a look at how things were going and what we need to do to keep you boys safe.
Again, I got to take a peek at you two, and as always, you're both doing wonderfully and are healthy as can be! We even got a 4D look at you where we could see your skin and features!
After knowing you were both safe, they checked me out too. I was thankful that while they were taking different measurements, I had two more contractions. This allowed the doctor to see exactly how body is reacting during these contractions (that are still coming, even with this medication).
Turns out I look pretty healthy too (not quite as healthy as the last time, but nothing too worrisome yet). Unfortunately, when I'm having the contractions things don't look quite as healthy for you two. It seems as if gravity is my worst nightmare right now.
So, it is back to my ole' mattress in the living room for me. I am on strict bed rest (and your father is taking that "strict" part very seriously) until next Tuesday. On Tuesday, we will go back in for yet another appointment and more measurements. If things appear to be the same, I will probably stay on bed rest for an unknown amount of time. If things appear to have gotten better, they may put me on a "modified" bed rest (which still may require me to stay home from teaching).
picnic lunch in the living room
All I pray is that these contractions don't progress and turn into preterm labor. As long as you two stay tucked away and keep growing strong and healthy, I am happy. Bed rest is not the greatest news we could have received today, but we are happy to oblige to keep you both safe. You are our priorities right now, so we will do whatever it takes. I will just have to get some really great books and movies to keep my mind occupied!
I should’ve known, when I woke up at 4 AM this morning in
intense pain, that today was not going to be an ordinary day. But with pregnancy
comes all kinds of fun pain and uncomfortability. So, I just filed it away as
another pregnancy pain.
When I started moving today at 5:15, still in a lot of pain,
I should’ve realized then, today was not going to be an ordinary day.
But, stubborn as can be, I tried to push through. I got
ready for school (slowly) and headed out the door.
I was determined not to call the doctor. Stretching and
carrying two boys; I’m gonna feel pain, right? What’s the sense in calling? My
only worry was the pain was on the left side, right where you’ve been camping
out Baby Miracle B and I hadn’t felt you move much this morning (although your
brother was going crazy). Once I felt you kick a couple times, I felt reassured that
everything was fine.
By 8 o’clock my thinking had changed and I was on the phone with
my doctor. The pain was just intensifying and I still had the whole day ahead
of me. After talking to a nurse, she let me know she’d check in with my doctor
and get back to me.
Finally, at 11:00 I heard back with my doctor’s strong
recommendation to sit, put up my feet, and drink plenty of fluids. I told her I
would oblige, however I am a teacher and that it could be difficult to get a
sub this late in the day. I asked if it was necessary for me to go home, or
could I just take it easy at school. Again, she had to check in with the doctor
first and would call me right back.
3o minutes later, I was at my computer typing up emergency
sub plans and heading out for the day. A one day bed rest was absolutely
necessary and if it didn’t give me any relief in a few hours, into the office I
was to go.
Well, by 2:20 I felt much better, but my stomach was really
tightening with what I thought were Braxton hicks contractions. So, onto yet
another phone call! Sure enough, the nurse thought I was having actual
contractions and needed to start tracking them. She said if one more or if more
consistent, I needed to come in immediately. She reassured me that contractions
like this are normal, but since we are having twins, she wanted to play it
safe.
So, at 3:00 when I had another contraction, I called back and
spoke with a third nurse. Oh no, it’s perfectly normal to have contractions. As
long as they aren’t painful and are sporadic you will be fine. She just encouraged
me to call back if I had 5 within the hour. At 3:27 (an hour and seven
minutes), I had my 5th contraction and called back. Again, I was
told no need to worry. At 3:53, I had my 5th contraction in 53
minutes and made yet another phone call!
“Okay Courtney, we need you to come on in to labor and delivery.”
Let me just say, even though I knew they were just being precautious, those are
words you never want to hear at 21 weeks pregnant. While I can’t wait to meet
you sweet boys, you are not ready to make an arrival yet!
So, with tears in my eyes, I frantically gathered myself
together and headed out towards the hospital. Thank God for an incredible
family! Aunt Aubrey had been by my side all afternoon, guiding me to make each
new phone call and continually checking in with my doctor to keep you boys
safe. Around 3:30 my parents had arrived too and were there when we got the
word to head out.
I was grateful to have them drive me down to the hospital so
that I didn’t have to make the drive alone. While on our way, I finally got the
chance to talk to your daddy (who had been texting and talking to Aunt Aubrey
while I had been working things out with the doctor). The second I heard his voice, I began to cry, feeling so comforted to be talking to him and knowing he was on his way too. His first words were, “So,
you’re such a planner that you needed a 10 – 15 week early test run, huh? Okay.
That’s fine. Are you timing this too, figuring out how long it’ll take us to
get to the hospital when we do this for real in a few months?” Through my
nervous tears, I finally let out a chuckle. I so appreciated his sense of humor
in a moment of concern. And it wasn’t insensitive humor. You could hear the
worry and concern in his voice. It was a, let me try to make this better for
you sense of humor, and I absolutely loved it!
Once we arrived to the hospital, we were quickly taken back to a room and settled in. As in the past, I got to sport my fancy gown and enjoyed being strapped to a thousand different monitors: two for each of your heart rates (which was pretty tricky to find), one to monitor contractions, and a blood pressure monitor as well. I was beyond thrilled to hear both of your heartbeats and see you on the ultrasound, wiggling around!
gadgets galore!
Sure enough, I had a contraction not long after arriving and both the nurse and computer quickly identified it as a true contraction. Just a few minutes later my regular doctor came in (she happened to be on call tonight -- a small blessing in the middle of this scare!) to examine me. Again, I happened to have another contraction and she too confirmed it as such. She also confirmed that I wasn't dilating, so she was comfortable in believing I wasn't actually going into labor, but just having irregular contractions.
Even still, she put me on a prescription to slow them down and wanted me to stay (possibly through the night) to monitor my contractions. After two hours, they decided that while the contractions hadn't stopped completely, they had slowed and lessened. So, we got the okay to head home and would be returning in the morning for further testing to determine if bed rest is in my future or not.
I am so thankful that tonight went okay. I am most thankful to have heard both of your heartbeats and see your sweet bodies kicking and moving around. I am thankful that you are both still healthy. I am thankful for my family who dropped everything to help take care of me (and you all) today. I pray tomorrow we come up with a game plan to help keep me healthier, so that I can keep you both healthy!
What an incredibly productive, incredibly exhausting week and weekend we have had!
At the start of the week, we made a pretty crazy list of what needed to be done each day, in hopes that at least half of it would get accomplished. I am proud to say, every one of our items was checked off and on time!
This week we:
Took out the window seat in the nursery, so we could rebuild ourselves
Patched up the hole in the wall in the nursery from a cable-installation gone bad
Patched up the marks in the walls downstairs
Finished all the painting touch-ups downstairs
Painted the downstairs bathroom
Got the first coat of paint finished in the nursery
Bought the crown molding for the nursery and painted it
Registered
And ordered your furniture and mattress!!
(but don't let his acting skills fool you -- he was really very much involved / opinionated in the entire registry!)
Yikes, I need another nap just thinking about this week.Not to mention the crazy weeks we both had at work this week too. But, I am so excited looking back at this list! The things we need to do to prepare for you is luckily getting shorter as you are getting closer to being here.
I think you could sense the excitement of this week / weekend too. Today, you both moved (I love when I can feel you both moving at the same time!) more than you ever have during the day. In fact, both your Zsu Zsu and Auntie Aubs got to feel you wiggling around! They're faces were priceless as they both each felt the first kick. You are already so loved little boys by a family that can't wait to meet you!
You all can now do much more than before - you can hear, you respond more, & we can feel you moving around on the outside of my belly!
With these changes have come new routines for you two. Some of my favorites are singing and reading to you. But my all time favorite is our new, nightly routine. Now that your daddy can feel you squirming around, he is trying to enjoy some bonding time with his boys too. Every night (since you seem to be most active when your momma's ready for bed), your daddy patiently waits for your kicks and movements. It's a perfect way to end my day - with my three favorite boys, all together!
Here is a glimpse at our typical morning routine in my classrom:
7:25
Kids start to arrive
7:25 - 7:45
Kids unpack; write in planners; and do morning work while quietly whispering,greeting each other, and helping one another with their morning work
7:45
Bell rings -- talking ends
7:45 - 7:55
Disney music playing, kids silently working on morning work
7:55
My "DJ" starts the morning meeting song and that's everyone's cue to come circle up on the carpet
7:55 - 8:05
Morning Meeting led by a student: Greeting / game, Reflection / question, Share time, and Mrs. Curran's announcements
Here is a glimpse at my classroom today:
7:25
"Mrs. Curran do you know what you're having??"
"Yes, but I'm going to wait until morning meeting during my daily announcements, so I can share with everyone all at once."
7:26
Someone else, "Mrs. Curran do you know what you're having??"
"Yes, but I'm going to wait until morning meeting during my daily announcements, so I can share with everyone all at once."
7:27
Someone else, "Mrs. Curran do you know what you're having??"
"Yes, but I'm going to wait until morning meeting during my daily announcements, so I can share with everyone all at once."
You get the picture! Needless to say, my kiddos were very excited to find out about you two. In fact, two of my girls made this poster for me last night so that I could check off the two boxes when I shared the good news:
Finally, 8:00 arrived and it was time to make my big announcement. They were so excited that one girl even wanted to video my announcement:
Some of my favorite quotes from the video:
"Name them Lily." "You can't name boys Lily!"
"Yeah, they won't fight...over dollies."
"Is that inside your stomach?!"
"Is there any pizza in there?"
"Wait, so they were tasting french fries?" "No, they were in a little packet thing."
After the discussion of you two, the conversation shifted, as my kiddos began to realize this means I will not be their teacher for the entire school year. They quickly began buzzing with several questions: "How long will you be gone?" "Just like a month, maybe two, right?" "Well, how many school days is that?" "Are you sure you can't be our teacher the whole year?" "When are you due -- January? So that means we probably won't see you after Christmas, right?" "Hey, but you'll miss my birthday!" "You will be back for the end of the year, right? My last teacher never came back." "Will you bring the boys to school so we can meet them?" "Yeah! And can we hold them? I'm really good at holding babies."
Bless their hearts! Only three weeks into the school year, and already they are so attached and sad to see me go. I explained to them that with twins it's tricky for me to know exactly how long I'll be gone. I told them that it depends on how big and healthy you are -- if you come too early, I'll probably be gone longer. I explained that if you come earlier than you're supposed to, you will probably be very small and that you'll need your mommy for a little bit longer than normal. They quickly agreed that it was important that I stay with you and make sure you are healthy. Melt my heart! I was so proud of them for trying to be understanding of me needing to be home with you two. I know they'll still miss me, but they'll be in good hands, while I make sure you two are in the best hands!
And as if my day couldn't get any sweeter, one of my dear coworkers brought me an adorable blue box, filled with an even cuter surprise:
Too sweet and so tiny! I cannot wait until you are in these adorable onesies, in each of my arms. Love you already, my sweet little boys!
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