Five Years

When we were first married, I had hoped that by the age of 30 my family would be complete. It was your daddy's plan to begin our family around 30. After the first year of marriage, we had both changed our minds...we decided by our third anniversary we would have our first child. Looking back now, it almost seems funny that we thought we had such a solid plan for our life.

I'm so thankful things did not work out as we planned.

Yesterday, your daddy and I celebrated five years of marriage together. I know it is cliche, but it is so true that we are more in love today than I ever dreamed possible. Our relationship has definitely been tested in ways I never thought possible. And while there were dark days that seemed impossible to overcome, we came through them stronger than before. We have seen each other through the tragic loss of family members. We have grieved (both together and in our own very different ways) our own infertility and the years of struggle that accompanied that. We clung to each other (literally and figuratively) when given the news that we might lose our precious miracles. Those months spent in the hospital before you were born were some incredibly telling months of our relationship. Every night your daddy was there, sleeping on a terribly uncomfortably, terribly tiny couch. The love he showed myself and you boys was just amazing.

And though there were challenges, we have shared so many wonderful things in these first five years. Buying our first house and countless projects making it our home. Family vacations to beaches, amusement parks, hiking, church camps, and more. Seeing our extended family grow and becoming an aunt and uncle. Some of my favorite moments are the ones you often forget though: sitting on the patio talking together, playing card games or video games, evening walks, the every day moments that we often take for granted.

Our lives are so full and I am so blessed by all we have. I had been looking forward to our anniversary for quite some time now. The four of us, along with Zsu Zsu, were going to meet some close family friends up at the Cincinnati Zoo. Your daddy and I had spent our first anniversary there and I loved that our fifth anniversary would be spent there too, now as a family of four!


However, Friday morning, we all (except for Daddy), woke up sick - sniffles for everyone. But, onward we went.

You boys were such little troopers. It was a hot, long day with very few naps. But you were all smiles and toughed it out. Your wimpy mommy was more miserable than you boys!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once home, Zsu Zsu and Paka were going to babysit so that Daddy and I could go out for a nice dinner. I just felt so awful though, I didn't want to go eat somewhere nice feeling so pathetic. So, we stayed in town and did a quick dinner together. Afterwards, we took a stroll down our small little Main Street and relaxed together outside. It was not how we had planned on spending our anniversary, but it was perfection. It was so nice reflecting on our marriage and our life together.

 

I'm thankful that we could spend the day together as a family and then also enjoy some quiet time for just the two of us. Seeing how much we have grown together, I am excited to see what the future has in store for your daddy and I, as well as our sweet family. So much has happened in just five years, I am eager to see where we will be five years from now! 

Baby Food: To Make or Not to Make

When our doctor first talked to us about baby food, he asked if I planned on making it or not. I had considered it while pregnant, but hadn't given it much thought since then. So, this past month we've just done the store bought. It just seemed easier and more convenient for this momma who is still trying to survive simply making dinner for the adults while keeping busy with two babies.

However, at seven months we are beginning to transition to two solid feedings a day...and you growing boys are eating a lot! So I began to wonder if making my own baby food would stretch farther than the store bought stuff. Would it be too time consuming to make / worth the effort?

On top of that, homemade baby food is supposed to make the transition from baby food to "real" food easier. So, after consulting a relative who made her own baby food, I decided to give it a shot. She shared a fabulous website with me where I began finding some super first "recipes" to try out. I was excited to see that it didn't seem nearly as difficult as I thought it might be - a few fruits and veggies, a couple ice trays, and I was set. The "recipes" are really nothing but the fruits / veggies and directions as to how they need to first be cooked before pureeing.

So, yesterday I embarked on Mission Homemade Baby Food. Two and a half hours later and I had 73 ounces in a food - enough to get us through one week (can you tell my enthusiasm began to wane; as the cooking progressed the pictures slowed down!).

 

 

 

 

My feelings right now: it's a little cheaper, it's better for you, it's pretty time consuming (I'm curious now that I have one batch under my belt if next week will go more smoothly). Realistically, I'm a mother to twin boys who require a lot of attention, so making food might not always be the easiest or always doable. However, I really enjoyed doing it yesterday.

My goal for now is one day of the weekend will be my "cook day" (mainly because Daddy will be home to occupy you boys!). I'd like to stick with this, but I'm don't want it to cause stress. We are going out of town in a couple of weeks and I don't want to feel like, "Oh no, what will I do about making baby food?" I simply won't! I definitely will keep some store bought baby food on hand for "emergencies." Right now, I feel like the homemade stuff will be better for you in the long run, so we will give it a shot this week and see how it goes!

First taste of homemade apples - you weren't so sure at first!

Summetime

Today we kicked summertime off right with your first swim!

Wiley, you definitely did not love it at first, but eventually adjusted to the cooler water. You kept reaching for your daddy and we realized you just wanted to be snuggled in that big, scary pool. You cuddled right up on his chest and eventually fell asleep right there in the pool!

Ryan, you were somewhat hesitant at first, but overall loved it! We had you flying in the air, splashing in the water, and zooming around in circles. You were all smiles and giggles.

It was a perfect family day...

 

 

...and it wore you two silly boys out!

Date Night

Thursday was an exciting night for our family. It was mine and your daddy's first true date night since September when I was originally hospitalized. It was your first time being watched by someone other than one of your grandmother's too.

Aunt "TseTse" Aubrey offered to watch you two so that your daddy and I could go out together. As we drove away from her apartment, I think all three adults were a little nervous! But to no one's surprise, she was excellent and you guys had an awesome time with her. Your daddy and I ate probably just a little faster than usual and were back to her place within two hours.

While you greeted us with warm smiles and snuggles, I'm not sure you missed us as much as we missed you. You were too busy singing along to Tangled, eating dinner, and playing.

I'm sure this was the first of many fun nights with your Aunt TseTse. She is already itching to keep you boys for a sleepover. You guys sure are loved!

Seven Months

 Wiley

• You have officially reached master status of tummy time! Last month you had mastered the roll and would flip right off your tummy the second you got over. If for some reason you stayed on your tummy for a moment, you wouldn't stay up right, start to lean, and it was quite clear you just wanted back on your back. You are now pushing up all the way on your arms, reaching for toys while on your tummy, and doing so much better. 
• You are an expert toy snatcher! You can spot a toy from miles away and will contort to all kinds of crazy positions to grab it. You are especially great at snatching from your little brother! We will give you each a toy. The second you see Ryan's toy, you truly toss your's aside and grab his! Just to prove that this wasn't a fluke, one day after you had snatched a toy, we then gave Ryan a second toy. Yep, you threw your new toy down and grabbed his. We gave Ryan a third toy and low and behold, you snatched that one too! Luckily, your brother is pretty laid back and is happy to share (even if he really has no choice).
• You love your fruits (especially apples) and cereal! If you are crying while waiting for food, you will instantly stop when you see me walk to you in your seat with a bowl in hand! You already know that a bowl means food. It's incredible to me! You also now understand what eating is all about. When you see Mommy and Daddy with a spoon eating, you assume it's for you too and reach for our food all the time now. You love to feed yourself and will fight us for the spoon - sometimes we let you win and "feed yourself."
• Any and everything goes in your mouth! Your hands, mommy's hands, your toes, toys, pillows, clothes...if it's in reaching distance, chances are you will try it out as a teething ring!
• You used to sleep curled in a ball. However, since putting you in your crib, you have more room to roll around. Recently you have been sleeping on your tummy a little too. 
• You still aren't a fan of naptime in your room and still prefer to fall asleep on Mommy. I know when you're sleepy because you will start nuzzling on my chest, chomping on my shirt, and you make a clicking noise with your mouth. If those three things are happening, I know naptime is just moments away!
• You still love being read to and being sung to - these will still often stop any crying fits!
• You are such a happy little boy and love to share your sweet smiles. If you are really happy / like someone, you will tell them with a sweet little coo.

Ryan

• You now prefer to spend more time on your tummy than you do your back! You have great control of your head and upper body while on your tummy. You are very curious about all that is going on around you and being on your tummy seems to be the best way for you to survey the room.
• Ryan, you have learned that we are a loud family where everyone talks all at once. And already you can hold your own! You like to talk...and to talk loudly too! Even though you've been "talking" for awhile now, it's like you have just discovered your voice. When you are really excited you shout in a very silly voice (and once you start, you often continue shouting for quite awhile). You like to laugh and make people laugh. You have such a fun, spunky personality already that I just adore.
• You love your fruits and cereal! If you are crying while waiting for food, you will instantly stop when you see me walk to you in your seat with a bowl in hand! You already know that a bowl means food. It's incredible to me! You also now understand what eating is all about. When you see Mommy and Daddy with a spoon eating, you assume it's for you too and reach for our food all the time now.We can't feed you fast enough. The second you swallow one bite, you are shouting for another!
• You can't get enough of your thumb! Unlike your brother, you don't need to put everything in your mouth; you are perfectly happy with just sucking that thumb of yours (and an occasional toe or two).
• You sleep on your tummy about 99% of the time now (even though we still put you to bed on your back). The second you hit that crib you flip and snooze!
• You are our expert napper - and you you let us know when you need a nap too. Naptime follows playtime. When you are finished playing and ready to sleep, (if not already there) you roll onto your tummy, lay your head down, suck your thumb with one hand, and rub the back of your head with the other. When I see this I know you're ready to sleep...into your crib you go and typically you are asleep before I have even left the room.
• You still love being read to and being sung to - these will still often stop any crying fits!
• You are such a happy, silly little boy. You can't smile without sticking your sweet little tongue out. It is so cute!

I just cannot believe I am already writing your seventh month post, boys. Time is moving so quickly. It is wonderful watching you develop, change, grow, and learn on a daily basis. I will sit and watch you experience your firsts and can just see the wonder and amazement in your eyes as you take life in. It is wonderful and you are teaching me so much about the importance of just soaking up everything around us. We love you so much and look forward to all the future holds for our little family.

Sleeping in Cribs Take Two

Well, as bad as Saturday night's bedtime routine went, that's how fantastic it has gone since then!!

(My theory - I think I tried to put you to bed much too early on Saturday night. Bedtime routine usually starts around 8:30. I had started around 7:30 on Saturday...mainly because mommy was too tired and didn't have daddy's extra set of hands at home to help!)

There have been no tears, no extra snuggles needed, you both happily lay in your cribs and coo yourselves to sleep.

(Sunday night, you had a poopy diaper around midnight, Wiley, that sent you into hysterics, cried a little after being changed and put back down, but again fell asleep on your own. Ryan you woke around 3:30 and needed a quick snack, but again fell asleep quickly. It's amazing how quickly my body has adjusted back to needing a full night's sleep. Just a few short months ago, to get three straight hours of sleep was a dream. Yet Monday, I was dragging after just having to wake up twice in one night! Oh how quickly we forget what the sleepless nights used to be.)

I absolutely adore walking into your room each morning - your faces just light up when you see us.

Keep it up little boys! I'm so proud of my growing little boys.

Happy Father's Day

Last Father's Day I was pregnant and so I could celebrate the fact that your daddy was soon going to be a father. Your daddy was very excited to meet you and excited to be a father, but that doesn't really show what kind of father he would be. I knew he would be great and was eager see him step into this new role. And while I never doubted if he'd be a good father or not, I am blown away by just how incredible of a father he truly is.

I have always said what a great husband he is, never falling into society's traditional views on husband vs wife. He cooks, he cleans with me, he does laundry with me, you name it, he does it without being asked to. We are one united team and work great together. Maybe it was the dry heaving that took place when he changed your cousin's dirty diaper for the first time, but I just didn't think our roles as parents would be quite so equal. I knew he would adore you boys with every fiber in his body. I anticipated him being there to love on you boys and to have fun. But in all honesty, I assumed I'd be doing the majority of the feedings, diaper changing, and night-time shifts...and I was okay with that.

Let me say, you have one of the most hands-on, loving, gentle father's I have seen. He jumps at the opportunity to do any and everything you boys need. I don't think there was one night-time feeding he slept through. Even once he went back to work, your daddy was up, changing your diapers and helping me with those long nights. Now, when he gets home from work, exhausted and ready for a break, he jumps right into our wonderful chaos at home and takes care of you boys.

From someone who had changed one or two dirty diapers in his life and didn't really know how to take care of babies, I am just amazed at his natural parenting abilities. Your daddy is just a pro! I'll never forget the first diaper change in the NICU. I was snuggling with you Wiley, when the nurse asked if we wanted to change you, Ryan. Your daddy didn't even hesitate, "Absolutely! But you'll have to show me." Watching him work so carefully and lovingly around your tiny body and wires, like he had been doing this all his life is a moment I won't forget.

 

 

It is so clear that you boys appreciate his love for you already too. We surprised him at work a few weeks ago. Wiley the second you saw him, your eyes lit up and you smiled like I had never seen. It wasn't just an, "I'm happy smile," there truly was something deeper in your eyes. It made me tear up seeing how much you boys love him already.

Each day when we talk on the phone, you hear his voice and both turn to look for him. It does not surprise me that you love him already because he just loves you boys that much. He has shown nothing but love for you and already you know that. The other day he was smooching on you both and seriously asked me, "Do I kiss them too much?" Before I even had a chance to answer, "No way!" he answered himself, "No! I can't kiss them enough. I just love them so much!" You boys are very lucky to have a daddy who loves you as much as yours does. I love the relationship the three of you already have and am excited to watch it develop as you grow.

 

 

 

 

Better Late Than Never

Less than a week shy of your seventh month birthday and your nursery is FINALLY complete!! We have been anxiously awaiting (for months now!) the completion of your window seat and valance. Well, this week it was finally finished. We spent Saturday putting the finishing touches on your room and prepared it for your use - it was the night, you were both going to sleep in your big boy cribs.

Bedtime has been our easiest routine (thanks in part to the NICU), so I anticipated a seamless and easy transition.

Ha!

This may have been the most difficult night in my short parenting career. Around 4:30 your daddy left for a night out with his dad for Father's Day. And from that moment on, we just weren't too happy and cried pretty constant from 4:45 - 7 (few breaks for some giggling / playtime, couple five minute catnaps, 5 minutes of peace listening to the fountain - interrupted by insane spit-up / hysteria, but overall, lots of unhappy babies in this house). I'm gonna blame it on the peaches (new fruit!).

 

Around 7:00 I tackled, no, I successfully tackled, bath-time on my own. We were all giggles, splashing, and loving life again - hallelujah! But as quickly as the giggles started, that's how fast they faded. Once out of the tub, Ryan, I could not move fast enough to get you dressed to keep you from rolling over!

Bedtime routine (medicine, clean diapers, jammies, bedtime story / singing, and then nursing) usually takes place in our room. Since we were making the switch to your room, I decided to move the whole routine next door. I figured if we were doing the same things we always do just in a different room, it would surely \make for a super smooth transition. And again, I say, "Ha!"

Book #1: I'll Love You Forever. One of my favorites, but have not yet read to you because I knew I would be a boohooing goofball. Yep, four pages in I believe, and I was tearing up!

So for book two we changed gears to read Let's Go to the Zoo. We are heading to the zoo for the first time in a couple weeks, so I thought we would start preparing. Well, page one and the sound of the seal did you in Wiley. You were hysterical with Mommy's animal sounds and kicked the book all the way to the floor. So, that was the end of that book! (And great foreshadowing of things to come!)

Finally, on to nursing. You boys typically nurse for about twenty minutes come bedtime, get nice and sleepy, "hop" into bed, do a little sweet cooing and talk yourselves to sleep. Easy-peasy.

Nope. The second you hit your cribs you knew, "Nope, this isn't right Mommy. Get me outta here!!" And you let me know it!

Ryan, right now you are our better sleeper. You give us great cues to tell us when you're sleepy (even during the day), we plop you into your rock n play, and you are out almost instantly. Nope. Not tonight. And Wiley, you still like your snuggles and hate when I leave you during the day - at night, you do great too. Yep. Not tonight.

For the next hour or so it was a terrible battle between screams, pathetic little whimpers, and the sounds of you almost falling asleep until....repeat and start over! Ryan, you were on this vicious cycle for only about twenty minutes. Wiley, I would come in, talk to you, soothe you, but the second I started walking away, your whimpers started.

At one point, I just sat on my bed and cried, listening to your sad little sobs! Terrible. It was just terrible.

Finally, I couldn't take it. It was now 9:45 and Wiley you were still awake! So, out of your crib you came. I decided to nurse you again. We went back to my room and you nursed for another 15 minutes. I was going to just give up and put you back in your rock n play for tonight. But after 15 of nursing, you were sleepy-eyed and smiley again. I decided to give it just one more shot. Into your bedroom we went. I whispered my nightly good night phrase and kisses and put you down.

And guess what?? YOU DID IT!!

And now, here it is, Sunday morning, and you're both still sleeping in your own cribs! (couple wake-up calls throughout the night, with some quick 5/10 minute nursing sessions, but no fussing after, and right back to sleep on your own). Way to go boys!

 

You are so proud of yourselves...and we are too!!