It Is Well pt. 2

"Far be it from me to not believe; even when my eyes can't see. And this mountain that's in front of me will be thrown into the midst of the sea...So let go my soul and trust in Him...It is well with my soul." These were the words I was singing in January, trusting God that He had a plan for our family. It has been such a strong desire for me to stay at home with you boys, but I just wasn't sure if that was possible...

It's amazing the way God works in our lives. He has done so much for me over the years, yet with each answered prayer I'm just as humbled and in awe as if it were the first.

We have been praying for awhile for a way and for guidance with some pretty big decisions concerning my career. I have had a pretty good year professionally and it looked like some new positions could be available for me. And yet, I have so missed being at home with you boys this school year. 

So, we did the only thing we know to do, we've prayed and prayed. 

A few weeks ago, it seemed like God was answering our prayers. My dream job (outside of the classroom) was probably going to be opening up at my school. Along with that, a friend of mine let me know she was ready to come back to teaching and would I be interested in somehow job-sharing with her. I felt like this was just all to perfect not to be from God.

I emailed my boss, letting her know I wanted to chat with her to let her know where my head was for the next school year (I wanted to be out of the classroom as a leave or if available, maybe part-time / job-sharing the dream job.) Our schedules just weren't matching up, but on a random Friday morning she grabbed me to chat real quick. After telling her where my heart was and how torn I was, she let me know, as a mom who took time away when she had small children too, how much she appreciated those years at home and encouraged me to do what was best for our family. As far as part-time or job-sharing, she also let me know that wasn't going to be possible. She just didn't see that position working as a shared position and all her part-time positions were taken.

I left her office feeling crushed. Wasn't this job opening up from God, a perfect way for me to continue working, yet only be part-time?? And if nothing was available at all, could our family survive without any second income whatsoever?  I was devastated and felt like I would maybe have to continue working full-time next year (even though I knew that's not where my heart was).

After the initial sadness, I trusted God must have something better for us. We decided that we would make it work somehow and I would still stay at home.

That very next Monday morning, she and I both had meetings on a committee we share away from the classroom. She immediately came and sat next to me, "Ok, this is what happens when I have a whole weekend to think, but we just can't lose you! So, I've created a job for you, if you want it..." She then laid out this amazing job, right up my alley, that would be one to two days a week. I pick the days!

I couldn't believe it. I wanted to jump up and down; I wanted to hug her; I wanted to scream and cry! You'd think I'd learn not to limit God. I thought all opportunities were lost and He said, "Just trust me. I know your heart and your desire."

So, I have eagerly started the countdown to summer! I am sad to leave my passion and the classroom, but I know I'll be back one day. Right now, being home and taking care of you boys is so important to me and your daddy. We know we only have a few short years before you'll be in school yourselves, so we are going to soak up these precious moments before they pass too soon.

It Is Well

I heard this song today from a friend of mine who is also living with infertility and continuing to trust God that her prayers will be answered; her miracle given to her. It instantly touched me and brought me back to our own struggle. It made me so prayerful for the many women I know who so badly want to be mothers. It made me prayerful for the women who will never have the chance to experience the beauty of pregnancy. I once lived in a state of, "Why me?" pity. I now find myself in a state of humility, asking, "Why me?" Of all the women living with infertility, crying out for God to give them children, why did He answer my cry? I am so thankful that He gave your dad and I the chance to parent you two. I'm not sure why us and not others, but I know God's plan is perfect for each of us. So, I pray for my friends still struggling (whether still waiting for their babies or whether already mothers because the pain of infertility is probably always going to be in the back of our minds).


"Far be it from me to not believe; even when my eyes can't see. And this mountain that's in front of me will be thrown into the midst of the sea...So let go my soul and trust in Him...It is well with my soul."

How difficult, yet how powerful to be able to utter these words in the midst of our mountains. Whether our mountains are sickness, problems at home, stress at work, or conflict within ourselves, we need to always utter, "So let go my soul and trust in Him...It is well with my soul."

Happy New Year

I cannot believe it is already 2015! Where are the years going?!

I have always been a lister and a goal setter. Yet, I've never been much for new year resolutions. Maybe it's because I'm constantly setting goals and reflecting on where things are in my life. The start of the new year (and time home with you boys on Christmas break!) does have me very reflective this year.

I have loved my two weeks home with you so very much. I have tried to soak up all the small moments I could, but it has me longing for even more! So, I go into 2015 with a prayerful and open heart for more time with my babies.

Merry Christmas

What a perfect Christmas centered around the birth of Christ, love, and family. I could not have hoped for a more special first Christmas celebrated at home.

Happy Thanksgiving

We are so blessed, Little Ones.

Last Thanksgiving was spent with a spirit of solemn gratitude. We were still in much pain from the passing of your great-grandmother, and yet also so thankful for you all and your health. It was a quiet evening, not filled with the loudness of our typical house. There was a piece of all of us missing without my grandparents with us. There was a piece of all of us missing without you all, our newest, tiniest, and what seemed like the only, reason for our joy. And so while we were so thankful, it was just a different year.

This year was such a Thanksgiving of celebration for me and our family. You boys have come so far this year, shocking not just us, but doctors as well! You are our tiny little miracles and we are so thankful for you both. I am so thankful for our family. I am thankful for the closeness between us all. For the support we show one another. For the friendship shared among us all.

Life is a beautiful roller coaster of ups and downs. This journey to you boys, and now with you, has definitely taught me that. There are so many things that happen that we can't always explain or understand, but through it all, there is much to be thankful for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our Hungry Little Caterpillars

Saturday was your big day boys, your first birthday party. We were so excited to celebrate you both with our family. It was such a fun day! I'll let the pictures do the talking...

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Birthday

How fun to celebrate a full year with you little boys! Daddy took the day off to spend some special time with the birthday boys. For lunch you visited me at school (you were quite the hit and loved by all my students!) and then we had a blast playing that night. New Legos, birthday books, bath-time fun, and a surprise visit from Paka. It was a fun, full day!