Blessed

Today was a day I had been dreading since we found out in November that our first try at IUI did not work. Today would have been your due date had it worked. I had anticipated being a puddle of emotional mess today.

Instead, I find myself in a state of rejoicing. Today, I find myself blessed and grateful for God's more perfect plan than my own. Today, I find myself in a state of perfect peace, trusting God's plan completely.

Back in November, a week before we found out if we were pregnant or not, I was asked to take a large role in our church camp. I had to turn down the role because I thought I would be pregnant and a week away from delivering. I wouldn't be able to attend campout this year if I was pregnant (as I thought I would be).

Today, I rejoice in the fact that I turned that role down.

Today, I rejoice in the fact that the IUI attempt did not work.

Instead, I was able to attend campout with Keal, focused not on the stress of the role I would've held, but instead focused on our own personal walks with Christ. Had I been pregnant from the IUI attempt, Keal would've been home with me, not now baptized.

It is amazing the way God works. In the swirl of our own pain, we sometimes question God's plan or doubt that He is with us. Back in November, I could not understand why God had not answered our prayers. Back in November, I felt so alone. It's amazing how hind sight is always 20/20! God never left us; He never ignored our prayers. Instead, he was whispering that he had a more perfect plan for us in store.

Today, is far from a day of sadness or pain for me. Today, I know that this was not meant to be your due date for a bigger purpose. Today, I celebrate Keal's baptism. Today, I celebrate you all, the two precious lives growing inside of me as I type. Today, I celebrate my growing family and how blessed we are. Today, I celebrate the fact that it is not your due date. Today, I celebrate my living God who has never lost sight of us and is shaping us into His perfect plan. Today, is a beautiful, blessed day!

I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones
That love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed