August Already?

Today I did something I've been dreading...I flipped our kitchen calendar from July to August.

August!! How is it already August?!

This post comes from a place of so many different emotions. So before I get all boohoo-y, let's focus on the positive.

For the past nine months I have had the privilege of staying home with you boys. I have experienced all of your firsts to date. I have helped you to grow and develop. I have spent nearly every waking minute of your lives with you. And through these nine months, you boys have filled my life with more joy than I ever imagined possible. I truly have loved every minute with you - even those hectic ones that send me into a sweat when you are both screaming at the same time. Really. I have loved it all.

And so, as the new school year approaches I am so sad for the changes our family will soon experience. I just don't know how I'm going to get up each morning and leave you for the entire day. Monday I had a meeting with the other fourth grade teachers and left you boys for the longest time ever. I got home around 4:00 to find you both happily napping. Once awake, we spent the evening playing together. I checked the time at 6:00 and instantly began to cry (I had made it through the whole day without any tears, yet 6:00 triggered me). It was because I felt like I had just got home and yet in two hours it would already be bedtime. It made me realize this was soon going to be the normal - our time in the evenings just a blink.

As sad as I am to be returning to work, I know there is much to be thankful for. Had we not had the ups and downs when you were first born, I would not have had this long off in the first place. So, I'm thankful for our long nine months together. I am thankful that I'm returning to work with two perfectly healthy and happy little boys. I am thankful that when I go back to teaching you will be in the wonderful care of Zsu Zsu. Knowing you are in such great hands will make my return a little less painful. And lastly, if ever there were a job for a working mom to have, teaching is it. I will have plenty of days off throughout the year (plus I'm already doing my snow day dance!), summer's off, and great hours (my plan is to get to school at the crack of dawn, work my tail off, and be home by 3:30 each day. It'll be a challenge, but I have incredible motivation needing me at home!).

This is going to be an adjustment, I know. This is going to be painful and difficult at first, I know. So until I go back, I'm going to soak up these next two weeks and spend all my time loving on you boys (now wake up from your nap so we can play some more!).