By the end of the shower though, the pain hadn't lessened and I was becoming more concerned. Zsu Zsu kicked me off the clean-up committee and sent me home immediately. Instead, I went straight to see Paka at his house where he anointed me. I felt confident and faithful that all would be well.
From that walk in confidence from the house to the car, things quickly changed. As I opened the door to my car, I realized I had begun to bleed. I immediately called Daddy, trying to hold on to my composure...until I heard his voice. And just like that, I swirled out of control. Nearly hysterical, I told him I was bleeding and didn't know what to do. From there, I called Zsu Zsu and again, frantically asked what should I do. I just needed everything to stop, everything to be okay, and know that you, Little Peanut, were still safe.
As your daddy and I recounted our day (after our ER visit), I told him, "I don't think I ever lost it like I did today with everything we went through with the boys. There was one day, we both lost it, but even that, wasn't really like this. I think it's because with the boys, I knew we were far enough along that we could fight for them. They could give me mag, they could give me shots, we could do some procedures. We had options and I was going to fight my hardest for them. This time, I knew it was going to be one answer or the other and there was nothing I could do. I was so panicked and felt out of control."
I drove alone to the hospital, as quickly as possible; Zsu Zsu and Tse Tse weren't far behind me, racing to be at my side. I was on the phone nearly the entire drive, but at one point I had a few quiet moments alone. It was during that time that I heard the only song I would hear on my drive: Overcomer. Our anthem during our first pregnancy and the song heard right before our dangerous procedure the first time around. For the first time, I had a tiny sliver of hope that we weren't going to lose you.
Once we arrived, began a horrible case of deja vu. IVs, heart monitors, blood pressure cuff, doctors and nurses in and out. It was a nightmare I was not ready to relive. I was so grateful for Zsu Zsu and Tse Tse's presence and comfort for me. About an hour into our ER visit, the door cracked open and I was ready to see another new face, but was so thankful to see your Daddy peeking around the corner. Uncle Kye, Aaron, and Larry had headed over to our home as soon as they heard and offered to watch you boys, so Daddy could be with me. I was beyond thankful.
As we waited, the mood began shifting in our room. The bleeding had stopped which was such wonderful news in itself. After a quick examination, the doctor seemed hopeful as well, "Everything looks good." We waited for a couple hours before finally being seen by the ultrasound tech, the true moment of truth. We began the long walk / ride down to radiology. As we got situated, I knew we either about to be faced with devastating news or we were about to meet our newest addition to the family.
At this point, I think Daddy and I both feel like we are pros at reading ultrasounds. We don't need you to point out the head, the feet, or even the uterus vs ovaries. We've had a lot of unofficial training. So, when she began rubbing the wand over my belly, large grins immediately spread across our faces. There you were, Little Peanut. There you were. We saw your sweet little body dancing, we saw your wiggling feet, and waving arms. We even saw the perfect (and fast!) flutter of your heartbeat. It was the most beautiful sight and such a relief. And the good news continued - lining looked well and cervix measuring just as it should. What we thought was going to be such a difficult night, shifted so wonderfully drastically. On top of that, we even found out that our math was just a little off. We aren't seven and a half weeks pregnant as we thought, we are nine and a half weeks pregnant! Your due date, sweet baby, is March 7th 2017 - sandwiched right between Tse Tse and Kye.
But, apparently today wasn't exciting enough. As we were finally headed home to you boys, we got a phone call from Aaron. Ryan, your temp was now up to 104.1. The highest fever you've ever had. This immediately sent me into momma bear mode, ready to do whatever I needed to help you, wondering if we'd be getting home, simply to turn around and head back to the ER. While in route, you were given another dose of Tylenol and a popsicle.
By the time we got home, it seemed like the fever was already coming down. It was into the tub, to continue to try to bring the fever down. By the time we put you to bed, your fever had broke and prayed it stayed down throughout the night.
8:45 and Daddy and I were finally able to enjoy the delicious meal he had been planning to cook me today (steaks and baked potatoes - one of my biggest cravings!!).
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