It Won't Be Like This For Long

Since you boys were born, we've really tried to soak up every moment and stage parenthood has thrown our way - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Recently, we've found ourselves in another trying stage. And while Daddy and I keep telling one another, "It's only a stage," and we know this to be true, it can still be trying in the middle of the storm.

You boys are trying to find your independence all while every adult around you (mainly myself and Daddy) is constantly telling you what you can and cannot do. It is a normal battle of power struggle, but still a frustrating one for each of us.

This week has been an especially difficult one; meltdowns reaching an all time high. We can rationalize each meltdown you have and understand perfectly why you are having them...but in the middle of them, it is difficult, to say the least.

A few nights ago, I was mindlessly wandering Pinterest when I came across a "suggested" article about managing meltdowns and strong-willed children (creepy! I had not searched for anything, but I was grateful it popped up). The article was about the difference between being rigid and flexible. It suggested giving the example of a popsicle stick (rigid and snaps when pushed against) vs a pipe cleaner (flexible, bends, and can return to it's original state when pushed against).

I shared the example with you boys. Together we snapped a popsicle stick and realized it hurt us when it snapped, it couldn't be put back together. We came up with examples of when we had all three been popsicle sticks and snapped. Then we saw how flexible a pipe cleaner was and thought of examples of when we'd all been flexible when things didn't go our way. I could tell you were truly getting it!

Five minutes later, Wiley you asked for chocolate milk (knowing I had just told you, no more chocolate milk, but you could now have regular milk). I reminded you of the answer and I could immediately see your body tense, your shoulders come up, and I knew a meltdown was in store. I looked at you, you sighed and relaxed your shoulders, and said, "Ok, Mommy. I have regular milk. See I a pipe cleaner!" Tears in my eyes, we celebrated this momentous breakthrough!! You had completely gotten it!

Just a few hours later, you awoke from naptime, to have probably our most difficult afternoon in a long time. How could we go from such an incredible breakthrough to such a trying afternoon? After an hour of meltdown after meltdown, Daddy was home to save the day and help calm us all down.



Today, I had to put on my educator / intervention hat and use what I know works in the classroom and pray it would work in our home too. We are all working really hard to be great listeners (on the first time!), as well as "pipe cleaner kids," as you've named it! You both worked really hard to earn pompoms for your small cups. As soon as the small cups are full (and they nearly are after just one day), you get to pick a reward from the green paper and dump your pompoms into the bigger container. Once the big container is full, we will pick an even bigger celebration from the blue paper!

 

It was so great to have a new energy in our house today. It was a more positive place again. It was a place bursting with pride (Mommy proud of her boys and two little boys proud of all the pompoms being earned). It was a place of peace, love, and laughter.

Typically Daddy does bedtime with you boys, but tonight I got to snuggle with you in bed. Bedtime can sometimes be a difficult time in our house too. But again, the peace continued tonight. I loved tickling your faces and singing to you, as I watched you drift into sleep. The final song on our lullaby playlist tonight, "It Won't Be Like This For Long."

It won't be like this for long.
One day soon that little girl is gonna be all grown up and gone.
Yeah this phase is gonna fly by;
He's trying to hold on.
It won't be like this for long.  

What a perfect reminder!! Not only will these difficult moments not be like this for long, but neither will these precious moments either. I won't always be able to snuggle you to sleep and watch you drift off. So in the midst of the madness, we are still soaking up the joy and small quiet moments too. Soon you three will all be grown (it sounds silly when you're only three years old and three months old, but I know it's going to be just a blink!) and this will all be a distant memory. So we soak it up!

Parenting is hard.
Parenting is messy.
There is no one size fits all answers for the challenges thrown our way.

But there is one thing that is always there and that is our love for you. Your Daddy and I love you all fiercely and just want to do what is best for you. Even in the middle of this difficult week, there have been moments where we wanted to scream, and one of us would look at the other and point out how completely pure and innocent you boys are. We are far from perfect and have absolutely made countless mistakes as parents, but we hope you three never doubt our love for you. You make us so very proud. Sometimes I just watch you play and can't help but tear up knowing we made something so precious. You are so loved little ones. In the good. In the bad. In the great moments and in the small ones. We love you.