Happy Father's Day

For the first time in two and a half years, I finally feel myself completely happy with a holiday! For the first time, I don't have a pain / emptiness within me. I can celebrate this Father's Day, knowing that next year, I will have you two sweet miracles here with us celebrating your dad! I have so much to celebrate and be thankful for this Father's Day.

Today started by Keal waking me up. Now, he should know this could be a very dangerous move! But his first words were, "Honey, I have breakfast." Groggily, I rolled over to find myself faced with breakfast in bed!

I had really planned on celebrating Keal this morning. While he may not be an official father yet, I did think he deserved a "soon-to-be-father" celebration. Keal has been such a rock and constant for me in this journey. So much of what we have been through has effected me directly. I take the shots. I deal with the hormone changes. I deal with the physical pain. My body deals with the probing and testing at each doctor's appointments. Yet through it all, Keal has been there every step of the way! Keal knows when I'm hurting. He knows when I have my bad days. Yet never has he complained to me about his own pain or the own struggles he has felt on this journey. He has been my constant, selflessly carrying me along on this journey. And even today, he continued to show his selflessness and love for others by making me breakfast in bed.

I am so blessed that this is the man I will spend the rest of my life with. And I am so excited that he will be the man you two call Dad! I know Keal is going to be the most wonderful father and I cannot wait to see him take on this new role in life.

Secondly, I am so thankful for my own father. I have been so blessed to have the most incredible father you could ever wish for (you will adore your wonderful grandpa!). He has always been an excellent role model of the importance of loving God and loving others. He has taught me the importance of serving God through his own walk with the Lord. I am grateful for his unconditional love and the sacrifices he has made to put his family first in his life. It is my hope and prayer that you will love and respect your own father as much as I do my own.

 And finally, today I celebrate my Heavenly Father. Today's assignment in church was to write a letter to God. Here was my letter:

Dear God,
Thank you for being the most perfect teacher over my life, but especially over the past few years. You have taught me how to trust. You have taught me how to let go of control. You have taught me how to have more faith than I thought possible. You have taught me to hold on to my hope in my darkest of days and rescued me from my pain. You have taught me to be grateful for what I have and to trust and believe that greater things are still yet to come amidst my pain.

I thank you Lord for these trials because they have brought me closer to You than I've ever been before. I thank you for the sweet miracles you have given us. I am so excited and honored that I get to use their precious lives to shout your goodness! Thank you for being a beautiful and most perfect example of what a father's love should be.

Today has been a beautiful Father's Day celebrating the three most important men in my life. I am grateful for each of their love, selflessness, and support. I have such a beautiful life and am beyond blessed for all that I have been given.

Fried Pickles and Watermelon

Today we had our 8 week check-up (wow! how is it 8 weeks already?!). On the way to the appointment, a song came on (from a beautiful CD made for us by some very dear friends) that I had heard before, but this time it just struck me a little differently. The lyrics were, "He took this life full of sorrow and suddenly everything changed. The moment it happened it was the moment I knew. It was like walking in the darkness when the light comes shining through. I said that God gave me back my tomorrow."

This  has been such a long and challenging journey. There were moments of such darkness and despair. There were moments where I felt like "my tomorrows" were lonely, hopeless, childless days. There were moments where I could not see through the darkness. Through this journey, God has picked me up countless times, rejuvenated my hope, and helped me see the light. There have been so many ups and downs. But as I sang these words today, I found myself praising God that He has given me back my tomorrow. He has renewed my hope in what my future holds. And now that the two of you are on your way, my tomorrows have never looked brighter! Feeling this joy and peace, I knew today would be yet another positive doctor's appointment (and what a testimony that in itself is - I'm so thankful for positive appointments!).

Again, we saw your beautiful hearts fluttering and the amazing growth you have made over the past two weeks. It is just fascinating to see how much you are developing each and every week.

Baby Miracle A: from 5.2 mm to 16.2 mm

Baby Miracle B: from 4.5 mm to 15.1 mm

Both of you, our sweet miracles, snuggled together

Afterwards, like the proud momma that I am, I headed to my parents' house to show off your adorable new pictures and enjoy the afternoon together. There I could finally satisfy one of my first, crazy pregnancy cravings: fried pickles and watermelon! As I walked into the kitchen there was an entire watermelon on the kitchen counter! I was in pregnancy cravings heaven. So, munching on something that finally sounded yummy, I enjoyed a relaxing afternoon knowing that you, my sweet miracles, are still safely tucked away and growing at a healthy rate! Already I'm looking forward to our 10 week appointment and seeing you both again.

The best lunch ever: fried pickles and watermelon!

A Look Back On Our Journey

A look back on our journey through June....and how we shared the good news with our families!

7 Weeks

Nesting Already?! Nah, That's Nonsense

Okay, I know it is way too soon to be nesting. I get that. But, it is my summer vacation and I have this very strong need to have my house practically ready to go before I go back to school. I want your all's room cleared out and ready to be turned into a nursery (it doesn't even need to be set up yet, just a clear space, ready for transformation!).

So, here is our set-up and all that needs to be done. Right now, your all's nursery is our office. Since we don't have a basement, it has become less of an office and more of a junk room. Books, old computers, printers, board games, weight benches, arts and craft supplies...anything that wouldn't make sense in a living room is basically in that room.

Inspiration for our design

So, we need to clear that room out completely. But we need a lot of that stuff! So, where does it go?! We decided to build a bookshelf around our fireplace downstairs. That way anything that we absolutely need from the office (my personal books, board games, etc.) can now go downstairs. Everything else -- boxed up and headed for the attic.

Last weekend, I was feeling frantic about all this. Early Saturday morning, Keal and I were on our  way to the pharmacy and a quick Starbucks run (Sidenote: there is no point to Starbucks when you can't have caffeine! Blah, so boring!!). While we were driving, I half jokingly, half seriously said to Keal, "Okay Keal, we need to get those bookshelves built...this weekend!"

He looked at me, unamused, "Do you have any idea how long this project is going to take? We have to design it, measure all the wood, rip the wood, glue our pieces together, let them dry, sand, paint....Court, you are looking at a month long project."

Well, the calm and collected person I am went into full panic! "A month?! We don't have a month! I need it today." And then my brain really started going, "Wait, we haven't even finished painting the living room yet. Should that be done first?" Keal agreed -- yes, painting needed to be done first, then he'd begin building our bookshelf.

So, the wheels in my brain started turning again. "Think you could paint today? You could do one coat today, the second tomorrow, I'll stay at my parents all weekend, and then we'll be set to start constructing next weekend." Keep in mind, this all happened in our ten minute drive last Saturday!

Since I couldn't be around the paint fumes, I packed my bags and headed to my parents' house for the weekend. Our family is so awesome, as I packed up to leave, my brother headed over! When painting, I'm the trimmer, Keal's the roller. Kiley graciously gave up his weekend and took my place! Together, he and Keal spent their weekend painting together.

Except for the bathroom, downstairs is now finished being painted!

Now, that that is accomplished, this weekend we have moved on to the office and bookshelves. I can't believe I am going to show you this Sweet Ones. Let me preface by saying I pride myself in my organization. I am a clean person. Don't judge me based on this picture!! This is what your room looked like beforehand:

I spent all day Saturday boxing and sorting things into three categories: to give away, to shelve downstairs, or to send up to the attic. (Yes, believe it or not, this chaos actually shows my progress. But I promise, before you get here, it will look amazing. You won't recognize your all's awesome room from this one!) Our computer, filing cabinet, and printer have now found home in the guest room:

And finally, Keal began work in the garage!

Base and sides of cabinet ripped and glued

Ripping wood together

How he spends most of the time in garage, thinking! If only he were in his "thinking chair," this would be a perfect picture!

 Base of one side...frame of the bottom cabinet

We are buzzing with excitement here in the Curran household, Sweet Ones. While we still have quite some time, we are already anxiously preparing for your all's arrival! We love you dearly already and cannot wait to meet you!

Our First Ultrasound

What is it with these two week waits?! They are just killing me!

Two weeks ago, we had our first pregnancy test and blood work drawn. Our doctor had told us that Wednesday's blood work would be a good indication as to how things were going, but more importantly would be in two weeks when we would have our first ultrasound.

I have been praying so hard since that appointment. I knew we would find out a lot at this appointment, but my biggest prayer has always been, "Lord, please keep my baby (or maybe babies) healthy. Please let them grow and develop and help my body to hold onto this pregnancy."

It seemed like today would never get here. I have been so prayerful today, hoping and trusting that we would receive good news. I had been so anxious for this appointment that I had even mixed up the appointment time. All along I thought it was at 2:00, when really we were scheduled for 2:30. And while it doesn't seem like much, those 30 minutes were torture at 1:30 when I was ready to head out the door and realized my goof!

When we finally arrived to the doctor's office, 15 minutes early, Keal and I walked in hand-in-sweaty-hand (we were both pretty anxious). Luckily, the afternoons aren't usually their busy times, so they got us in right as we were sitting down. Julie walked us back and smiled at me, "Don't worry, we won't take your blood pressure today. We know you're pretty anxious before your first ultrasound and blood pressure sometimes sky rockets."

Once in the examining room, Keal pulled his chair all the way up to my side. I looked up at him a little funny, "What? I want to be close to you and the screen to see everything!" He gave me a quick kiss, grabbed my hand, and offered a beautiful prayer. As always, he prayed for your health not for our own selfish needs, but to give all honor and glory to God.

Kit walked in right after "Amen." It was the moment of truth.

At first, as I looked at the screen, we didn't see anything. I have to say, there was a minute of panic where I thought, Oh my gosh. What if this is all one big mistake. What if there's no baby in there?! I uttered a quick, silent prayer, when she said, "Okay. Here we are....looks like we have a grouping here!"

Grouping?! What did grouping mean? In my mind a group is multiple....like 4, 5, 6!! She gave us a big grin and said, "Yep, we have twins! Here's Baby A and Baby B."

I couldn't believe it. I had felt like you were twins all along. I just knew you were. But I didn't want to utter those words until I knew it for sure. And there you were...the both of you! Hearts fluttering on the screen...the most beautiful thing I may have ever seen in my life. Your hearts were beating within my body. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen.

Before we left, she warned us not to "tell the world yet." As with any pregnancy, there is still a great deal of risk. So, we are quietly shouting our praises and thanks today to our family and friends that have been so close to us through this journey. We have received such beautiful, touching texts and phone calls today. We cannot thank our God enough for this incredible miracle He has given us. We are beyond blessed and humbled to be given the opportunity to be your parents! And while we shout our praises, we will continue holding on to our faith, praying for your safety, for you to keep growing, and for the Lord to continue working this miracle in our lives! We love you, Sweet Ones, and can't wait to be your parents!

First family photo!

6 Weeks