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| behind the scenes on our fun, weekly photo shoot! |
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Friday, June 28, 2013
What a Difference A Year Makes
Over two years ago, Keal and I decided we were ready for children. We excitedly entered into this journey, ready to start growing our family. No one could have ever prepared us for what was to come.
More than six months into our journey, we realized something wasn't right and I headed into my first of many doctor appointments. After two different appointments filled with countless tests, I finally met with my normal doctor's assistant. It was in this appointment that I was told I was infertile and was going to at least need medication to assist us in becoming parents, and possibly even more drastic treatments.
From there, we began the up and downs on the crazy pills! After five months of the pills not working at all (and now one year into our journey), my doctor told me there was nothing further she could do for us. It was time to seek the advice of a fertility specialist.
After three months of searching for a doctor that would be right for us, on June 28th, 2012, Keal and I nervously stepped into our fertility specialist's office. And from here, began a struggle and challenge that no couple can truly prepare for. From there, exactly one year ago today, began the constant appointments, the probing and tests, the pricks of countless needles, the ups and downs of the hormone treatments, and the emotional highest of highs and lowest of lows.
When Keal and I reflected back on 2012, we both referred to it as one of our most difficult years: as a couple and as individuals. We were tried and pushed in ways we never thought we'd be strong enough to overcome.
Now, here we are, exactly one year to the date of the start of our more intensive fertility treatment. Today, we entered our specialist's office for the last time. What a bittersweet day it has been.
From the moment we entered the office one year ago, we knew this was the place for us. Every single person in that office made us feel important. Every single person made us feel like they genuinely cared about us and our journey to you. I thank God that we found such a caring and personal place to help us on this difficult journey.
Today was no different. We had our final ultrasound and I have to say, it was the most magnificent experience of my life! You were both there, again doubled in size. Your heartbeats were strong and healthy. But for the first time you actually resembled babies. It was just breath taking. We saw all four of your tiny little hands and your four tiny feet. I must say, they were the most beautiful hands and feet I have ever seen (I may be a little biased though!). And as if seeing this wasn't enough, you both gave a little wiggle and wave!! Fabulous - it was just fabulous!
After such a wonderful appointment, we reluctantly said our goodbyes. We hugged our doctors, nurses, and office managers goodbye. They sent us off with baby magazines, pregnancy magazines, and the most sincerest well wishes.
Today was the most perfect ending to a roller coaster year. I left the office with my heart full of joy and gratitude. I thank God for this doctor's office and the wonderful people in it. I thank God for our wonderful family and their support. But today, most importantly, I thank God for you two, healthy, wiggly babies! You are perfection and I cannot wait to hold you both in my arms!
More than six months into our journey, we realized something wasn't right and I headed into my first of many doctor appointments. After two different appointments filled with countless tests, I finally met with my normal doctor's assistant. It was in this appointment that I was told I was infertile and was going to at least need medication to assist us in becoming parents, and possibly even more drastic treatments.
From there, we began the up and downs on the crazy pills! After five months of the pills not working at all (and now one year into our journey), my doctor told me there was nothing further she could do for us. It was time to seek the advice of a fertility specialist.
After three months of searching for a doctor that would be right for us, on June 28th, 2012, Keal and I nervously stepped into our fertility specialist's office. And from here, began a struggle and challenge that no couple can truly prepare for. From there, exactly one year ago today, began the constant appointments, the probing and tests, the pricks of countless needles, the ups and downs of the hormone treatments, and the emotional highest of highs and lowest of lows.
When Keal and I reflected back on 2012, we both referred to it as one of our most difficult years: as a couple and as individuals. We were tried and pushed in ways we never thought we'd be strong enough to overcome.
Now, here we are, exactly one year to the date of the start of our more intensive fertility treatment. Today, we entered our specialist's office for the last time. What a bittersweet day it has been.
From the moment we entered the office one year ago, we knew this was the place for us. Every single person in that office made us feel important. Every single person made us feel like they genuinely cared about us and our journey to you. I thank God that we found such a caring and personal place to help us on this difficult journey.
Today was no different. We had our final ultrasound and I have to say, it was the most magnificent experience of my life! You were both there, again doubled in size. Your heartbeats were strong and healthy. But for the first time you actually resembled babies. It was just breath taking. We saw all four of your tiny little hands and your four tiny feet. I must say, they were the most beautiful hands and feet I have ever seen (I may be a little biased though!). And as if seeing this wasn't enough, you both gave a little wiggle and wave!! Fabulous - it was just fabulous!
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| Baby Miracle A: from 16.2 mm to 32.6 mm |
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| Baby Miracle B: from 15.1 mm to 30.1 mm |
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| Group shot - you are the most beautiful babies! |
Today was the most perfect ending to a roller coaster year. I left the office with my heart full of joy and gratitude. I thank God for this doctor's office and the wonderful people in it. I thank God for our wonderful family and their support. But today, most importantly, I thank God for you two, healthy, wiggly babies! You are perfection and I cannot wait to hold you both in my arms!
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
The Hurt and the Healer
One thing I have appreciated about this crazy journey is the deep and meaningful connections I have made with several different women. In the beginning, I had a couple women who were my go-to during my own struggles. They too had faced their own fertility struggles. I was comforted to know that I could go to them to relate to someone, to ask advice, to hear what paths they took, for anything I have needed.
In the past several months, my own mindset has begun to shift and I feel like I have become more healthy mentally. In this shift, I feel very thankful that I am now able to reach out to other women going through their own fertility struggles. Over the past month or so, I have made a very strong connection to one woman who has been on her own long, challenging road. Just a few weeks apart, we both went in, in hopes that our pain would soon end and we would be sharing the good news of pregnancy together.
Since then, we have shared in our joy together, knowing that we are both expecting! It has been nice having someone to share with and connect to. Today, as I was sitting on my couch, I received a text from her asking me to pray for them and that they were rushing to the doctor's office, as she was facing some complications.
It's amazing how quickly infertility can connect you to someone who a month a go, I barely knew. I found myself pouring my heart out to God this afternoon. I found myself aching in pain for her and her husband, knowing the fear and uncertainty they were feeling as they awaited this doctor appointment. As I was praying, I also began to read. Here was one of the passages I came across today:
Ephesians 6:10, 16, 18 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power...In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one...And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people."
After praying for several hours, I received another update that things were looking pretty serious and they were now off to the hospital. At this time, a song came on my radio. As I listened to the words, I feared that they may be facing devastating news today. So, I prayed harder, turning all my attention to God.
In the past several months, my own mindset has begun to shift and I feel like I have become more healthy mentally. In this shift, I feel very thankful that I am now able to reach out to other women going through their own fertility struggles. Over the past month or so, I have made a very strong connection to one woman who has been on her own long, challenging road. Just a few weeks apart, we both went in, in hopes that our pain would soon end and we would be sharing the good news of pregnancy together.
Since then, we have shared in our joy together, knowing that we are both expecting! It has been nice having someone to share with and connect to. Today, as I was sitting on my couch, I received a text from her asking me to pray for them and that they were rushing to the doctor's office, as she was facing some complications.
It's amazing how quickly infertility can connect you to someone who a month a go, I barely knew. I found myself pouring my heart out to God this afternoon. I found myself aching in pain for her and her husband, knowing the fear and uncertainty they were feeling as they awaited this doctor appointment. As I was praying, I also began to read. Here was one of the passages I came across today:
Ephesians 6:10, 16, 18 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power...In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one...And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people."
After praying for several hours, I received another update that things were looking pretty serious and they were now off to the hospital. At this time, a song came on my radio. As I listened to the words, I feared that they may be facing devastating news today. So, I prayed harder, turning all my attention to God.
Unfortunately, my evening ended with such heartbreaking news for this dear woman and her family.
I don't know what she and her husband are facing right now. I cannot say that I understand her pain. I don't. I don't understand God's plan for them. Right now it just seems so unfair and I find myself asking, why. But I do know that we serve an incredibly powerful, living God. I pray that through their pain and grieving, they feel His arms wrapping around them, providing them with the comfort they need tonight and in the weeks to come.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Dream On
I have always been a dreamer. I love my dreams. Last night though, began one of (I'm sure) many pregnancy related dreams. I've dreamt of you all before, but last night was different. I was about to give birth...entirely too early. (Probably because I've already read the risks of early delivery with twins. So I'm sure this is a constant thought in the back of my mind.) But the early delivery was not the problem. You guys were perfect and fine.
Here comes the nightmare...
You were so early that I hadn't set up the nursery. I hadn't bought your cribs, car seats, strollers, clothes, diapers...I had NOTHING! Are you ready for the worst part?! Keal had to go buy everything and make these executive decisions on his own while I was recovering in the hospital.
I woke up in a cold sweat!
I know we will be more than prepared when the time comes, but it's going to be a long 7 months if these dreams keep up! I guess I need to get back to our office / your nursery and keep packing the room up.
Here comes the nightmare...
You were so early that I hadn't set up the nursery. I hadn't bought your cribs, car seats, strollers, clothes, diapers...I had NOTHING! Are you ready for the worst part?! Keal had to go buy everything and make these executive decisions on his own while I was recovering in the hospital.
I woke up in a cold sweat!
I know we will be more than prepared when the time comes, but it's going to be a long 7 months if these dreams keep up! I guess I need to get back to our office / your nursery and keep packing the room up.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
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