Three Months

Wiley

• 8 lbs 7 oz!!!
• you now smile at us - especially in the morning 
• you are rolling over and are a very active squirmy wormy
• you have much better control of your head and are learning to hold it at the center of your body
• you now coo and "talk" to us
• you love bath time

Ryan

• 7 lbs 15 oz!!
• you are rolling over and are a very active squirmy wormy
• you have much better control of your head and you easily turn it from side to side
• you are beginning to do mini push-ups during tummy time
• you now coo and "talk" to us
• you don't like to sit still for too long
• you love bath time and hate when it's over 

You are now a quarter of a year old - how is that possible?? Time is moving much too quickly already! I just know one day I'm going to wake up and you will be all grown up...so until then, I'm trying to soak up every minute possible. Each day I am amazed at how much more in love I fall with you both. I just love watching you grow!

Valentine's Day

I really am not a fan of Valentine's Day. It's just too sappy and silly of a holiday for me. However, with today being Valentine's, I can't help but think about the holiday and what it represents...so brace yourself for a sappy overload!

You two boys have taught me more about love in just twelve short weeks than I have ever known. You have taught me a new and different love unlike any I have ever experienced. I don't think I have ever experienced such pure and unconditional love until you. We love our parents, we love our siblings, we love our spouses. But the love for your children is just so different. Unexplainable really.

I look at you both and think there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you; I want to give you nothing but the best. I look in your eyes and see your whole lives ahead of you and it is just so exciting. I have waited my whole life for this love. Last year, my heart began breaking thinking there was a chance I'd never experience this. There were moments where I felt pain and emptiness unlike any before.

November 19, 2013 at 1:38 and 1:39, in that first kiss I gave you, my  heart was completely healed. I was happy again. I was whole again. My fear and pain forgotten completely in those minutes. You will never know the joy you have brought me and your daddy. You will never understand how deeply you are loved. Wiley and Ryan, you are my whole world and two of the sweetest Valentine's I have ever had.

Birthday Celebration

I'm not one who usually makes a big deal out of my birthday. All I ever really want is a quiet night hanging out with my family. This year, my day felt a little more special. This was my last birthday in my 20's and my first birthday as a mom. It seemed almost symbolic to me - the end of one chapter and start of another.

My day couldn't have been spent any better. Monday you two ate every hour and a half....which meant I was nursing every 30 minutes. It had been a long day and I hoped Tuesday would be a bit calmer. You were supposed to sleep until 7:00 AM....you both awoke at 5:40. I thought we were doomed for another crazy day! But I was so wrong. 

The morning and afternoon was spent just us three. It was a much smoother day and I could actually relax and enjoy playing with you. Wiley, it was during this time you decided to give me your present...you rolled over!!! I could not believe it. Two and a half months old (one and a half weeks adjusted age!!) and you're rolling already - slow down, little boy!! Your daddy was so sad to miss it, but luckily I caught the moment on video for him to see!

It was right after your debut roll, that Aunt Aubrey and Zsu Zsu arrived and soon after Uncle Kye and Aaron. It was such a great afternoon just hanging out tonight. 

Once Dad and Paka arrived home from work, we sat down for dinner. While chatting, your dad jokingly teased you, Ryan, about your brother rolling over already and being more advanced. As if to show him, with the last word of his teasing sentence, you too instantly rolled over!! Again, another great present!

It was a fabulous way to say goodbye to last year and welcome in a new year. And as one final gift, you all ate at midnight and 6 AM - our best night's sleep yet! I can't wait to see what this next year of my life holds. I know this first milestone of rolling over is just one of many more we will witness this next year. And I'm sure with each one, I will celebrate while at the same time silently urging you not to grow up too fast. It's a stupendous battle between wanting to freeze time and watch you grow all at the same time. We will just have to continue to soak up each moment and continue to appreciate each day we have with you. Thanks for giving me such an amazing birthday, boys. 

Zone Defense

Since coming home, your father and I have been in man-to-man defense: each of us taking one of you per feeding, diaper change, etc. If someone started crying during that particular feeding cycle, we'd ask, "Is that your baby?" Each new feeding we would rotate so that you are both "my baby." Our routine was pretty solid and life wasn't nearly as hectic as we had anticipated.

Well, shifting to nursing exclusively (yay!), as well as your daddy returning to work, I am now faced with a new challenge. We have shifted from a man-to-man defense, to your momma playing zone defense! It is now you two boys to me! 

As your dad left Monday morning for work I felt a pride thinking, "yeah I can do this; I don't need any help," as well as a small voice whispering, "good lord how are you going to handle two babies all day by yourself?"

Well boys, there were moments from this week that sent me into a full sweat as you both screamed at the same time needing fed. There were moments from this week of exhaustion as it seemed like you'd never both nap at the same time again (everyone says "sleep when they sleep." Ha! Not with twins - you rarely sleep for long at the same time). But mostly there were moments this week that I treasured of the three of us just snuggling together. I am quickly learning how to manage you two alone. I am trying to master new tricks to soothe both of you when screaming at the same time. All in all, things are going well. We even mastered getting ready for the doctor's alone (mind you I said "getting ready;" we aren't quite ready to go out alone - Zsu Zsu accompanied us!). You boys had your third - and praise God, final - eye exam! All checked out normal, so there's no more need for those terrible tests. We celebrated by surprising Dad and Paka at work - your first, non-doctor related, outings!

I am just loving life so completely right now - even through your 3 AM tantrums, through my exhaustion and sleep deprivation, and through the challenges of motherhood. I love it all! You boys are just mine and your daddy's whole world. We never knew we could love you little boys so much. 

First Church Service

With the winter season comes lots of sickness. 
With you being preemies comes a higher, more serious risk of you boys getting sick. 
With that being said, your pediatrician and NICU doctor has put you boys on "house arrest" until April, as well as asked that you have no contact with any school-aged children. 

Why does this matter? Well, it means no church until April. After missing so much church after being hospitalized, I have really been missing our Sunday routine and my church family. 

Yesterday, church was cancelled due to icy conditions at the school. This was wonderful news for us because it meant we could have church at home. Paka, Zsu Zsu, and Aunt Aubrey headed to our house, where we had a small, quiet service in our home - your first church service!

This was such a big day for you boys, the message even focused on you, "babies are such a nice way to start people." Some of the verses highlighted included:

1 Samuel 1:27-28 "For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him: Therefore also I have lent him to the LORD; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the LORD. And he worshipped the LORD there."

Deuteronomy 11:18-19 "Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."

Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

It was such a wonderful theme to kickoff your own spiritual walks! I look forward to when we can return to church. But more so, I look forward to watching you two grow and foster your own relationships with God. He has already done so much for you boys in your short lifespan; I can't wait to see what the future holds. 

40 Weeks

When we were first told we were having twins, I prepared myself for the possibility for a difficult pregnancy, but believed all would be well. Never did I think the road we traveled to get to today would have been our journey. But you know what boys, I wouldn't change one day of the past 40 weeks...no matter how difficult some of those days may have been. I take one look in your all's eyes and realize ever single challenge was absolutely worth it. And even amongst the trials, I still truly loved being pregnant; I loved knowing I was growing two miracles. You boys have already brought me more joy in the past 68 days than I could have ever imagined. 

Once I was hospitalized, I worried about your well-being when we realized you might be born prematurely. Now that you're both here and doing so well, I'm grateful for these ten extra weeks we were given with you. It was a challenge when you were in the hospital, but I got ten bonus weeks with you two. Ten extra weeks for extra kisses. Ten extra weeks for extra snuggles. Ten extra weeks for an incredible joy and love.

And, as goes the tradition of my weekly updates, here's one more, final, weekly pic!

Two Months

Wiley

• 6 lbs 3 oz; 20.25 inches
• you can hold up your head for a few seconds
• you're our little mover - seems like you could roll over any day now
• you get frustrated when you can't roll over during tummy time
• you snort when frustrated 
• you love your sleep and usually fall asleep quickly and on your own
• you have a tight grip and hold onto any and everything you can

Ryan

• 6 lbs; 19.25 inches
• you can hold up your head for a few seconds
• you intensely focus on objects around you 
• you love story time and stare at each picture 
• we affectionately call you "snuffleupagus" because reflux has caused some congestion 
• you don't want to miss a minute around you....so you love to fight your sleep!
• when upset, you love your bouncer or snuggles on mommy or daddy's chest 

My two peas in a pod, how has it already been two months! It is so exciting watching you grow and develop these adorable little personalities. When I think that I could / should still be pregnant with you two, I'm amazed at how much you can already do and how healthy you both are. God is just so good!