Labor Day Weekend

This weekend marked the first holiday off from school of the school-year...but more importantly, it marked the last weekend of referring to you in general terms. In just a few short days, I will know whether you are precious boys, sweet girls, or one of each! I cannot believe it is almost here and cannot wait to find out!

We were busy preparing for you two this weekend, getting ready to start setting up your nursery and putting the finishing touches on the bookshelves. Grandpa Curran came over to help put the crown molding on the bookshelves. And while they were stunning before, these finishing touches just add to the "stunningness" of the shelves.

While the guys were downstairs, hard at work, Zsu Zsu and I were packing up the office. We had planned on this taking a few weeks, but turns out once we start something, we like to finish it! Except for the desk that needs to be moved out, your room is now empty and ready for decorating! (And by golly, I may just start this Thursday, since I'll know boys / girls / both on Wednesday!)

 

The afternoon wrapped up finally finding your nursery furniture too. Thanks to Great Grandma Ross, we were able to get a great deal on some beautiful furniture.

Well by now, I was completely wiped and exhausted, so I snuggled in for an afternoon nap. When I woke up, I was surprised to find ourselves in the middle of a huge thunderstorm, electricity out and all. So, we enjoyed a quiet early evening playing cards, reading, and grading papers.

By the time the storm ended, I was super hungry and we were still without power. So we headed out to grab a quick dinner. On our way out we realized just how bad the storm was...

Fortunately, the tree in the front yard was dead and we were going to cut it down soon anyway. The tree in the backyard has been one your dad has always loathed and always talked about cutting down. Mother Nature just decided to take some action for him. So while inconvenient that we have to deal with these trees right now, they both needed to go. And lucky for us, our free, monthly limb and branch pick-up service is for this Tuesday. So really, timing worked out okay. And even better, our fabulous neighbors were waiting for us to come out and start cutting them down. They knew I couldn't really help and began taking branches to the street for us.

As I sit here reflecting on our Saturday, I realize how blessed we are with such wonderful people in our lives. Everything we accomplished today was because of helping hands and people who gave up their Saturday for us. It was a busy and very productive day.

18 Weeks

We are now in the single day countdown!!!

Small Moments Amidst the Swirl

Now that I'm back to school, it has definitely taken some getting used to and adjusting. My body was completely wiped after the first day. In fact, I didn't even have the energy to put my PJs on and slept in my dress that night! The second day, was a little better, but I still needed a nap after school to make it through the day.

Seven school days in to teaching and I am doing much better! My body is adjusting and I no longer need a naptime! With the start of school, life has definitely gotten more hectic and I am trying to juggle more than before.

Some days, it is very easy to get caught up in the swirl of the work day. Today was one of those days:

• 6:30 - 7:25 I got ready for the school day in the quiet of my classroom
• Taught literacy from 7:25 - 10:00 until the kiddos headed to their Related Arts
• Went to a meeting from 10:00 - 11:15
• Taught science 11:15 - 12:00 until we went to lunch
• Finally had a moment to sit for lunch from 12:00 - 12:25
• Took the kiddos outside for recess 12:25 - 1:00
• Taught math 1:00 - 2:10
• Cleaned up the room, packed up, and sent the kiddos home 2:10-2:20
• Had another meeting to wrap up the first morning meeting that didn't get completed 2:20 - 3:15 (and still isn't quite complete!)
• Had to leave that meeting to go to a meeting with a parent 3:15 - 4:45

Finally, at 4:50 I could sit...in my car as I headed home! Sheesh. I was exhausted and ready to be home. But through the crazy swirl, there are small moments that remind me of the beauty in my life. As I sat with my kiddos today, teaching science, I felt you two moving around. And as I sat in my parent conference, you were moving like crazy (I like to think you were hinting at me that it was time to go!!). I love feeling the two of you, it reminds me of this miracle in my life. It reminds me of the bigger picture. It reminds me not to get so caught up in the swirl and to enjoy all that is wonderful in my life!

Your First Concert

Well, my little ones, already you are getting lots of great experiences! This week you went to your first ever concert. Long before I started writing to you, long before my Let Faith Arise Playlist began to form, at the very start of our journey, I had heard a song...

I was driving home from the appointment where I had been told I was infertile and was going to need to seek additional help. I was in such pain and discouragement. I had made most of the drive home in silence, crying and wallowing in self-pity. A mile away from our neighborhood, I turned on a local Christian radio station. A song I had heard countless times, and loved, was playing. Through falling tears, I began belting out the words to this song, praising God for all the good in my life. Though I was mourning the difficult news we had just received, I was immediately reminded of all the good God had done for me. I was immediately reminded that through it all He had never left me and never would. I began praising my living savior in the midst of my newest storm.

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You 

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

And through it all, though there were days that were harder than others, I tried to praise God in all of the storms we faced. I tried to stay focused on the fact that I knew God had a plan for us and that I needed to trust that His plan was better than ours.

Monday night as I stood at that concert singing these same words, my hand on the two of you, I felt like we had come full circle. It was almost two and a half years ago that I sang these words through my tears, driving home from that dreaded doctor's appointment. It was almost two and a half years ago when I had gone from such self-pity to feeling immediately rescued by such powerful words. And here I stood, almost two and a half years later, still strong in my conviction, and still praising my God through all of life's storms. As I stood there singing, I was praising God that He got us through this storm and that you will both soon be in my life. As I stood there singing, I was praising God for the storms I know that are sure to ensue through the rest of my life. Because through it all, He will never leave my side. And no matter what we face, we will praise Him in the storm!

17 Weeks

Loving Life

Tonight we headed out to dinner for another celebration for Keal's birthday. As we were driving I found myself reflecting on the day, the week, on you two, and my life in general. All I kept thinking was, "Wow. I have a great life...I love my life."

Thursday we put the final bookshelf into the living room. We then were able to get our living room back to normal, organize the bookshelves, and remove some of the boxes from your all's nursery. After a long night, we plopped on the couch, sat back, and admired all of Keal's hard work! I am still so impressed with his talents. It has completely changed our house for the better.

our living room at the start of summer

our living room on Thursday...few small finishing touches, but practically complete!!

I then began thinking about my first week back to school and what a wonderful class I have. At the end of each school year, I think, "No class will ever top this one," and each year I'm pleasantly surprised with another wonderful group that I quickly fall in love with. I am so thankful to be in a field where I know I am called to be; in a field where I get to shape and mold lives on a daily basis. I am thankful for fabulous colleagues who help take care of me and make sure I'm taking it easy for you two. 

From here, I began thinking about the seriousness of bringing two perfectly, innocent lives into this world and being responsible for shaping your lives. I became so prayerful that as your parents we would make the Lord proud and help mold two lives that loved the Lord as well. I prayed that we will be able to teach you the importance of love and respect - for yourselves and for others. As I was praying and rubbing my belly, I felt you move the strongest you've ever moved before! It was fabulous. 

And then my wandering mind went back to where we were a year ago, nearly to the date....our first attempt with the shots had been unsuccessful. I went into the treatments so optimistic, believing we'd try once and then be pregnant. After our first failed attempt, I was sad and empty. If I couldn't be a mother, I felt like my life had lost purpose. I spent most of last year in a war with myself; a war between faith and depression. I so badly wanted to stay strong and faithful the entire time, but found myself occasionally slipping into dark and lonely places. I am so grateful God rescued me from my war.

I am grateful for the opportunity to be your all's momma. I am so thankful that I am me again. I am happy. I am content. I feel whole again. It is a wonderful feeling to be at such a place of contentment in your life...especially when you've been to a place so dark you thought you'd never escape. I am beyond blessed. My life is far more perfect than anything I could have ever planned myself. I'm glad God had us in His embrace the whole time, guiding us to where we are today. I'm thankful that I now know that our struggle to you all was all apart of something bigger and better. I am almost giddy with happiness and contentment. I just love my beautiful life!

All those days watching from the windows 
All those years outside looking in
All that time never even knowing
Just how blind I've been
Now I'm here blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here suddenly I see
Standing here it's all so clear
I'm where I'm meant to be  

And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different
Now that I see you

Nursery (sorta) Update: The End Is In Sight

Well, after a summer of incredibly hard work, our living room is almost put back together and the bookshelves are almost complete. We are one UPS delivery away from all four pieces being put into the living room, emptying out the office / nursery, and beginning to really clean out your all's room!

The two weeks after campout were spent painting the cabinets (with a lot of thanks to Johnny who was here every single night for more than 10 days straight, painting away). It's amazing how much more finished they began to look even after just a coat of primer.

After the paint job was complete, a terribly tedious job of sanding the dry wall was next on the list. Unfortunately, the fireplace wasn't completely square, so it was a pretty tight squeeze to get the bookshelves in. Too avoid having to force them in, we decided to sand some space off of the walls. What an awful job for Keal and me - he trying to sand and me following him around with the shop-vac, trying to pick up all the dust.

so much for our lovely paint job!

Our cabinets were now painted and dry, ready for the lights to be put in.

so proud of himself!

All summer long, Keal has talked and talked about "needing" a new TV for our living room makeover. And while I agreed (to an extent), it definitely wasn't a priority for me. So, we began budgeting and saving any "extra" money that came in, putting it to our new TV. One night I came home to find Keal even wrapping his coins to make an extra 50 bucks! His goal: to have saved enough to buy a TV for Christmas.

For his birthday I decided to surprise him and go ahead and get his TV now. I was going to buy it myself, but he had researched and found the "perfect" TV and I didn't want to make such a big purchase by myself. So, together we went out and got his birthday gift.

very excited about his birthday present

Finally, with the cables and TV purchased, the cabinets sanded, painted, and finished, it was time to start moving them back into the house!

Getting some help from Uncle KiKi to move them into the house

I was so ecstatic, I had to put something in the cabinets right away. I went with the oh, so important board games! After getting a quick power nap on my lap, we enjoyed our new TV, the Steelers, and our new living room set up together last night.

 

It isn't even finished yet and already I love our living room! I was sitting on our couch last night just admiring your dad's work. It is amazing to me that he is able to turn just some regular boards of wood into incredibly beautiful pieces of furniture! I am so excited that the end of this project is in sight and all of his hard work has paid off so well. I can't wait to get back into your nursery, clean it out, and start planning for you two (just over three more weeks until we know if we should be planning for boys, girls, or both...then we can really get your nursery set up!).