Reassuring Article

Today an article was posted on the homepage of a support group I follow. It is very comforting to hear from other women who are feeling the same as I do, having similar reactions to life situations, and asking questions I am thinking.

How can I get through baby showers when I'm dealing with a fertility problem?

Serena Chen

fertility expert

You don't have to: Just don't go. Baby showers can be a painful reminder of what's not happening for you. You may find it difficult at first to skip baby showers without feeling guilty, but it gets easier with practice.

Instead of attending the shower, you can send a thoughtful gift. Shopping online, rather than at a baby boutique or toy store, is less likely to stir up feelings of sadness or resentment. For the same reason, you may want to choose a gift such as children's books or a selection of lullabies or other kid-friendly music – both are always welcome and appropriate.

If there's a shower you just can't skip, consider arriving late or leaving early. Do your best to avoid the opening of presents, since that's often the hardest part. Make plans to do something you enjoy after you've made your appearance.

Give yourself permission to feel lousy afterward, too. It's okay to have a good cry when you wish desperately that the shower could have been for you.