Two Steps Forward...

Before you were even born, when we began to realize there was a chance you'd be spending some time in the NICU, we were told by several different parents who experienced life in the NICU to be prepared for "two steps forward, one step back." We had been told not to stress over the constant beeps and dips in the monitors. We were told not to get down when faced with backwards progress. This has been such wonderful advice and has helped keep your daddy and I strong. I'm typically such a worrier, but I just know this will all just be a fleeting memory. So far we have been very blessed that we haven't really taken any steps backwards yet. However, Wednesday we did face a tiny bump in the road...

Wednesday morning I arrived to the NICU with Aunt Aubrey. As soon as we got there, we were given an update from both our nurse and the doctor. Side note: your NICU room is directly across from the doctor's office - literally two steps away! So anytime we arrive, we are always given an update directly from the doctor. This has been a fabulous little perk! After positive reports, the nurse asked if I was ready to love on you two, and as always, I answered, "Of course!" I was pleasantly surprised when she asked if I had / would want to hold you both at the same time! I was over the moon. You two have been side by side when your daddy and I both hold you, but I had never held you both myself. I was ecstatic!

Ryan you were just loving life next to your brother!

After an hour and a half of snuggles with you two, it was time to eat. Again, I was so pleasantly surprised when the doctor asked, "Want to try nursing today? Of course, it wouldn't be for nutritional sake, but for the sake of practice." I was thrilled! Ryan, you went back to your bed at this time (you would get to try later that afternoon). Wiley, you tried first because you are on the condensed feedings every three hours. So, while you were being fed, I was going to nurse. This way you'd make the connection between nursing and getting a full belly! I was thrilled when you actually did nurse for quick periods of time over the hour that we tried.

Ryan, since you are still on continuous feeds, we decided to wait until you begin the condensed feedings as well. The nurse thought it would better help you make the connection between nursing and getting full.

After nearly four hours of snuggling and loving on my boys, you were both ready to go back to your beds. I was so excited that you were both able to maintain your body temperatures for such a long period out of your bed. It was such a fabulous afternoon together!

After such a busy and full morning, you were both conked out & ready for another nap

Wednesday night, your daddy came to visit you all with Uncle Johnny. Besides loving on our boys, he had another mission: don't forget extra bottles for me. So, once I knew he was at the hospital, I called to remind him, "Do you have the bottles yet?"

"Well...not yet, no."

There was something in his voice that made me instantly ask, "Are the boys okay?"

"Well..." (the longest two second pause of my life!) "Ryan had a bit of a scare this evening. But he's doing better now." Your daddy then explained to me that when he walked into your room, there were two doctors and a nurse working on you, Ryan. Trying to break the tension, he said to the doctors and nurse, "Well, this isn't what you want to see when you first show up!" They quickly reassured him that it wasn't that you were in any serious harm, it was mainly just because of a shift change and the doctors were coming up with a game plan.

Ryan, you had de-stated again several times after I left, and for the first time in awhile, dropped your heart rate without being able to bring it back up yourself. On top of that, you were retaining all your IV fluids (even though they had been stopped a day ago) and had become pretty puffy. The doctor decided to run a few labs to check for infection and an x-ray to make sure you weren't retaining fluids around your lungs. Thank God, all of those tests came back perfectly normal. So, they decided you were just telling us, "Hey, I'm still a 32 week preemie; I still need some extra assistance here!" They gave you one dose of medicine to help bring the swelling down and help you get rid of the extra fluid, as well as put the cannula back in your nose to give you a little bit of extra flow for your breathing.

I called the NICU more times than we usually do last night, just to make sure you were okay. Each time we were reassured that all was well and you hadn't de-stated as much.

This morning, they tried to remove the cannula Ryan, but you weren't quite ready for that. So, you're still getting a little extra help. But I think the most help came when you were again reunited with your brother!

Holding you both yesterday was just fabulous, but today I got to kangaroo you both! This was even better - for me and for you guys! You haven't been this close to each other since before you were born. Both of your oxygen levels were at 100% most of the time we were together - the highest it's been for you Ryan in a long time and Wiley, you held steady at 100% longer than you usually do.

Wiley, you got your 12:00 feeding during kangaroo time. I was shocked and excited; as soon as you began getting your feeding, you began imitating nursing again. It was neat to see you making the correlation between feeding and nursing!

Over the past two days we have taken several great steps in the right direction, with just a tiny hiccup last night Ryan, but not even enough to call it a step backward. As always, we are so thankful that God has His eye on you two and continues to keep you so safe and well. We are already so blessed to have you sweet boys in our life. We pray you both continue to grow, improve, and trust that in God's perfect timing you will come home!