When It Rains...It Pours

What a night. Today is day three on femara and so far very few side effects (minus some crazy hot flashes, dizziness, and headaches but I can handle a little sweat and aches). I am trying to fight the emotional meltdowns, the worries, and the pity parties. However, tonight I have started to crack just a bit.

I rushed home, after my wonderful day by the pool with my mom, to do a few things around the house to surprise Keal. One of the things on the list -- seriously clean the house. I packed up the tent we had slept in last night, vacuumed, mopped, the works! (I was super proud of myself for packing up the tent all by myself.) The house looked great! After dinner, Keal asked, "Hey, when you folded up the tent, where did you put my glasses?" I stared at him, "I didn't....I didn't get them out of the tent." So, we unpacked my impressive tent clean up, unfolded it, and found his glasses inside the tent....totally bent and broken. Cue meltdown number one. I felt so bad. All I had wanted to do was surprise Keal with a clean house....and I ended up breaking his glasses.

Well, meltdown number two came when Keal and I more closely examined what the trigger shot entails. We thought the doctor would be giving this mega-shot. Turns out, we're supposed to do it at home (however, I plan on begging them to do it for me!). First, you have to mix a powder in the syringe, pour it out, mix it with another solution, swirl it around, put it back into the syringe, and then switch needles. Sheesh. That alone sounds terrifying! But, then Keal has to inject me in my lower back with this massive needle! He has to test to make sure that there is no blood in syringe. If so, he has to switch out needles and start over! After watching the video, I was literally in tears and Keal looked like he was going to vomit. "Honey, I don't think I can do that to you." I don't think we had any idea what we had signed up for, but now there's no turning back. And if it means a not-so-pleasant shot in order to get to you, well, then I will do it!

And finally, the icing on the cake....the salt in the wound. All week long I have been telling Keal that I think my sister-in-law is pregnant. And I told him, that'd be fine. I am in a good place and wouldn't be upset. I guess I didn't clarify....except if you tell me tonight! Sure enough, as we were going to bed I found out she was pregnant too. Well, cue gigantic meltdown number three - the anger, the sobbing, the softly crying - I did it all last night.

All night long, through each of these incidences, I couldn't help but first think, "Why me," or "geeze, when it rains it pours." But then I thought back to an early post I had made when we flew to Florida. When in the air, in order to get to the sunlight, we had to get past the storm and the clouds. Maybe this is our storm? Maybe for the next two weeks Satan will be targeting us with trials because he knows that God is about to work a miracle in our life. Maybe in just a few short weeks you will be on the way. So, I will continue to try and fight these trials because I know you, our sunshine, is just on the other side of these storms!