Waiting and Wishing

I survived the two week wait like a champ. It flew by for me.

Today, was a different story though. Monday we went for our initial round of testing -- another pregnancy test and blood work.

On Monday, as my sweet nurse got ready to draw my blood, she leaned in and whispered, "Well, did you test early?" I gave her a nod. "And what did it say?" she asked eagerly. I gave her a little wink and smiled, "Pregnant." She was grinning so big for us, "I just knew it! You've been glowing since the moment you walked in!"

So, she drew my blood, we met with our doctor, talked about some general do's and don't's, and scheduled our next blood work and first ultra sound.

That was the easy part.

Now came the waiting. Again.

Later that evening, our doctor called to let us know the results of the blood work. "Typically, we want to see numbers around 100. Yours came back at 542. This is wonderful news, Courtney. I am so happy for you. Now we'll see you back on Wednesday and hope that these numbers close to doubled. We want to see some growth."

So, Keal and I enjoyed an evening together in celebration! We had my Teacher of the Year Reception first (which was where I got the phone call!), followed by an evening at dinner, and ending with a night on our patio relaxing. It was a perfect day!

Tuesday kept me occupied with our school's annual zoo field trip. My mind was too busy to worry about Wednesday's blood work.

But Wednesday was agonizingly long!! I ran to the doctor in the middle of the school day and set what has to be a new record: in and out of the office in four minutes! "Okay, we will call you between 3 and 5," my nurse let me know as I headed out. I nodded and thanked her. But what I wanted to say was, "What kind of window is that?! I'm going to be sitting by the phone, sick to my stomach for two hours?! You need to call me at 2:59 lady!!"

The day just dragged by. I felt like I could hear the minute hand tick with each passing second. But finally, at 3:41 my phone rang and sent me jumping off the couch! I think I stared at it for a good ten seconds, debating whether or not I should even answer it.

When I answered, I was surprised that it wasn't my doctor's voice, but the nurse's voice. (Of course, now I realize of course this would mean good news, the doctor would call if it were bad news. But my frantic, stressed brain did not realize this then.)

"Okay Courtney, I'm calling to tell you the reports of your blood work today."
Sarcastic thought: I know. What is it?! Let's get to the important part.

"Well, the progesterone levels aren't back yet, but the hcg levels are. Those are the ones we really want to look at today."
Sarcastic thought: I know, they needed to double. What are they?!

"Well, they did increase..." dramatic pause.
And?!?!?

"They are now at 1,253. This is an excellent sign!"
 Instant tears!!

I could not believe it. I have felt so different this time around. I just knew this was working. But, until I had that feeling confirmed, there was still a part of me that was apprehensive. There was still a part of me that needed to hear those words said, that this pregnancy is growing and moving in the right direction.

After hanging up, I could finally celebrate our pregnancy. For the first time, I sobbed! This is it, Little One. Our prayers have been answered. I am pregnant. Wow, so incredibly surreal. I am already beyond grateful that God has answered our prayers and that we will finally become parents. I am humbled to be given this opportunity. I already feel the weight of the world! You are already so special and I feel like I need to use my life to shout God's goodness! Thank you Lord, for rescuing us, for hearing our cries, and granting us this perfect gift! I, am going to be a mother!