If

Today is the eve of our first attempt at IUI. I am trying to fight the anxiety today and trying to remain faithful. I trust God's plan completely today. I know whatever happens tomorrow, happens for a reason. I also find myself so thankful for this opportunity. Had things gone as I had hoped, we would've been doing the daily injections today. Had things gone as I had hoped, we may have been told too many mature follicles again. Instead, God intervened, changed the plans again, and has given us this most surprising opportunity at IUI! So no matter what happens, I find myself rejoicing for the way God has had His hand in this journey from the beginning. God's plan is so much better than the one I ever could have had.

Yesterday, we were sitting on the couch eating breakfast and Keal said, "Okay, what's the plan for today?" I couldn't help but to laugh at him and say, "It's pretty bad when the planner doesn't care and the spontaneous one needs a plan." But it's so true. I have definitely learned to let go a little and just live! I'm not going to lie, I still like to plan some things, but I do trust God a lot more than I ever thought imaginable. I am learning to let go, enjoy the moment, and live!

Today's message in church was simple; it was, "If." We read several verses, but two of my favorite verses from today were:

Mark 9:23 "Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth."

Matthew 21:21 "Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."

I go into tomorrow's appointment believing with complete and pure faith. I go into tomorrow's appointment trusting the Lord and knowing He can...and will...do this miracle in our lives! I feel like I have ended a lot of my posts this way, but it is so true. I am so thankful for this journey. Not every woman experiences half of what I have experienced to become a mother. And for that I am so incredibly thankful. I have such a different outlook and appreciation for parenthood. We will welcome you into the world little one with pure and loving hearts. And we can't wait until that day! We move ahead, waiting and trusting the Lord with faithful hearts.