Well, my sweet little one. It has been eleven days since we were at the doctor's office. And I must confess, these have been the LONGEST eleven days, maybe of my life!! I keep looking at calendars and thinking, "Really? It's only been 2 days....it's only been 3 days..."you get the picture. So, here I am this morning saying, "Really? We still have to wait five days?!" I might burst with all this waiting.
Now that we are so close to knowing yes or no, it is even more difficult to have patience because all of the pregnancy symptoms have started. I have now had two nights in a row of "morning" sickness, unshakeable headaches, and the weepiness is as strong as ever (this time not quite as sad, but more like the tiniest things - happy included - make me cry). And while I welcome these symptoms with open arms if they mean you are on the way, I am trying not to get ahead of myself. Unfortunately, all of the meds that I am on can cause you to feel like you're pregnant too. Which, if you ask me, that is a mean trick! Don't the people who created these drugs know that the people on them want a baby more than anything? And to make the side effects be the same as being pregnant, just mean! So, I'm trying to find the healthy balance between being so very hopeful, yet keeping it in the back of my mind that if God intended for this to work at a different time, we will trust His plan.
Things I am thankful for this morning: the most incredible support team I could ask for. I have received such beautiful texts throughout the week. The first came from a friend from church; she sent me this quote: "Where there is great love, there are always miracles." Let me tell you, little one, there is great love waiting for you! I know that this love that we have for you and that God has for us, is going to work this miracle in our life. I believe that with all my soul.
Later in the week, I got another text from a new friend, "...I need an update on your life in the next 3 days. I haven't forgotten to say extra prayers!" I loved how simple it was, yet how thoughtful; letting me know that even though this week has been busy, she is still thinking about me.
Finally, last night, a dear friend from school sent me this text: "Saw this tonight and thought of you. You are dealing with everything so amazing and its amazing to witness. 'Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him.' John 1:12." I was so grateful to receive such encouraging words. She too went through a similar journey to get to her beautiful little boy. Knowing that she comes from a similar place of pain and struggle to get to her miracle, it meant so much to read these words from her.
Throughout this journey I keep coming back to a similar thought, we are so blessed in this life God has given us. There are days that are more difficult than others. There are some situations that sometimes seem unfair in the midst of them. But through it all, God reminds me that I am His and that He loves me. And for that, I am beyond blessed. Thank you, Lord!
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