A Moment to Catch our Breath

Well, today we were given some disappointing news.

The shots just aren't working this month.

Keal and I had some conversations prior to this appointment and had decided that if this month didn't work, we were going to just take some time off to catch our breaths. Life has seemed to be spinning pretty quickly out of control the past month or so. All within the last sixteen days, we have: found out we're not pregnant, started the daily shots (and did them for a solid week), and then found out it didn't work. That is a lot to process in just two weeks! Plus, work is getting stressful. The medication is taking its toll on me (physically and mentally). Right now, we just need to get back on our feet again.

So, we aren't giving up on you, little miracle. But we are going to get refreshed and refocused. December is just two days away and life will be hectic during the holiday season. I think if we added fertility treatments to the stress of the holidays, it would've just been madness. Keal and I can take this month to enjoy each other: no more medicine, no more constant doctor appointments, no more needles. Just a month or so for us.

The first time I heard this song, I was pulling into the parking garage of the doctor's office back in August. That was the day we found out we had to call off the shots and cancel IUI. I was so angry when I heard it because I just felt like it was confirmation that we would receive bad news that day - and we did. I heard this song again today, driving home from this appointment.

Our healing didn't come today. And yes it hurts. Yes, I'm feeling some sadness, anger, and confusion; I feel as if my life could so quickly fall apart. But through it all, as the song says, we will trust God always, knowing that He is working all things for our good. We will set our faith in who He is and know our healing will someday come.